Presenting...

Pictures of my new condo, taken a week or so ago. I haven't been back since Memorial Day, so for all I know it's almost done. My house is not sold yet. In fact, I am getting the new air conditioning and furance installed on Saturday, so it's really not a good idea to show it until it's cooled down. It's been very, very hot in the house. I am hoping a whole new heating and cooling system helps sell my house. The condo people have already tried once to get me to set up a date for close, but I told them no way.

In the meantime, remember my fooked up shoulder? The one that called me some very, very unkind names when I tried to clean windows? I had the appointment yesterday morning at 8 am with the specialist. It would have been very helpful if the paperwork they sent me in the mail had been received timely. It was waiting for me after I got home from the doctor's office. All I had was the doctor's name. I couldn't find the paper with even the phone number on it.

Luckily, I found it online, even with incorrect spelling, and was only a few minutes late due to traffic. I forgot about rush hour traffic. I don't DO 8 am any more.

First, the receptionist wants me to fill out all the papers, including what the presenting problem was, and I filled them out so fast she was stunned. (I had already told her I did paperwork well.) I read my book for a while, then a nurse/tech came and got me, and put me in a room. She also had to know the presenting problem, and wrote something down. I assumed it was the problem so I wouldn't have to go over it again.

She took me across the hall and took several X-rays of my right shoulder, having decided to focus on that. I was also there for the left shoulder and both knees. It was the left shoulder that sent me to PT for months last year. She took off, and I read again, freezing my bum off. I had on a skirt and sandals, and I was very cold in there. I have no a/c at home, so to go from 88 degrees and humid indoors to 69 air- conditioned degrees was refrigeration-uncomfortable for me.

Eventually a GQ model came into my office, sparking my interest and causing me to smile for the first time all day. He introduced himself and said he was the PA. I think he had a name, but who remembers details like that? He asked for the same information, including the presenting problem. Luckily I am a female and did not have to add priapism to the list.

He did strength and range of motion tests on me. One test was for me to hold my arm to the side, palm up, and push up against his hand. I just said, "No." He seemed confused. I said it would hurt too much and I wasn't going for it. Probably no one has ever said no to him before in his life, and I can understand that. He offered a shot of cortisone to help relieve the pain, and I said, "No thank you."

He left, and I read again for a while, after looking around for a blanket or two. Never found one. Next came the PA again, with another GQ model. Again, I smiled. He introduced himself as the doctor. He probably had a name, too, but who cares? He asked me about my presenting problem. I was too polite to ask if he can read or not, so I explained again what was wrong with my shoulder. He did the exact same range of motion and strength tests. For once, I had patience with this sort of repetition.

I again said NO to the same test. He begged. I pushed. It hurt. A lot. He seemed pleased. He also offered me a shot of cortisone. I again said, "No thank you."

He then told me I seem to have a torn rotator cuff and would need surgery. I had visions of what I might say if he gave me Versed. Versed is a better truth serum than scopolomine. I laughed. Picturing duct tape on my mouth, I listened more politely. He said I would need an MRI first. Of course.

I said fine, I would have an MRI. However, I do have claustrophobia. I said I would be OK as long as I knew I *could* get out, even though I would not move. He offered me a rx for Valium as long as someone drove me. I just looked at him.

The models left, and the nurse/tech came back with the paperwork. She handed me an rx for the MRI and one for Valium. Without a word, I returned the Valium one. I know how to meditate. I have a Happy Place. In fact, I now have a new one.  I left, and moved on to my next appointment for the day - the dentist. Don't ask.

Sorry it tookme so long to get the condo pictures here. I have been busy, hot, and crabby, but I did finally find a cure for heat rash. I never had that before. Besides, this morning I saw the Vampire. He surprised me by agreed with the refusal of cortisone. He really worked my shoulder over well. I will do anything to avoid surgery. However, this shoulder has hurt me off and on for maybe 15 years. Perhaps I should not have tried to lift that shelving unit in the basement and drag it up two flights of stairs by myself. I stopped when I realized I would do better with a crowbar, but maybe I tried too hard. Who knows?

Don't be shy. I expect to hear LOTS of horror stories about shoulder surgeries. I WANT to hear them. I have heard everything from one that actually healed up fine to another who told me she would rather give birth again than have her rotator cuff repaired a second time.