Fly with me

Late on Thursday, I was offered a chance to go see my boy toy out of town where he had a court hearing for work. I said sure. I spent most of the night, until 4 am, working on finding just the right flight at the right price. I admit I rather enjoy doing that, searching around the web for travel. I check several sites to fly and for trains and whatever seems logical. I was happy with my choice, because the price was right, the times were good, and the flight was out of Flint, MI, which is much nicer to deal with than Detroit. The Flint airport isn't much bigger than a mall. The parking is a dream.

The next day, really the same day, I get notice that due to Gerald Ford's death and mourning, federal offices are closed on Tuesday. The court hearing is canceled. Ooops. As usual, my flight was non-refundable. I never buy insurance - I always figure that for all the flights I haven't paid insurance for, once I lose one, I will still come out ahead. Insurance companies make money, right?

I waited a bit to see if the court hearing would be rescheduled before my shoulder surgery, so I could still go. Not likely to happen, so I need to call the airlines and beg for a refund on a non-refundable ticket.

In the meantime, while I am looking for my frequent flyer card, Child calls.

Mom?

Yes, Child.

Can you do me a favor?

I don't have any money.

Guess what! I found another ride to the airport tomorrow, you don't need to drive me!

(great, I don't need to drive to the airport two days in a row after all....) Good.

Can I borrow some money?

I don't have any money.

Yes you do. You always do. I only need $100 and I will pay it back in a week.

What am I supposed to live on while you have my money?

Younever spend any money.

That is because you always have it.

Well, can I borrow it? (It's 11 pm, and I hear she is in a store, she wants to come get my cash right now, I am thinking.)

(I count out my cash...) I only have $92.

What? How will you pay your house payment? I know you have more than that.

I don't pay cash for my bills, do I? That is all the cash I have.

Will you go to the bank tomorrow morning and come up to my bar and have lunch and bring me the money?

Once that call was over, I figured I had the cajones to call the airlines and politely beg.

Still, I wrote out a list of WHY the airlines should do this for me. I decided to give all the truth - even though the court hearing being canceled had nothing directly to do with me. I was a nervous wreck.

The first item on my list was to begin with, "Yesterday I made a reservation." Technically, that was true. It was late Thursday night, like 4 am when I made the reservations, but really Friday. It was 11:30 pm when I made the call, but still, it was Saturday. Right? Logical?

I had myself all braced up to make my point. I got a very nice lady named Marie on the phone who took all the wind out of my sails. She very sweetly told me that I could go online and cancel (cancel!) my reservation since it only the next day, and before midnight. I almost cried. She even did it FOR me.

No fees, no charge, no restocking charge, nothing at all. Total, full refund.

Thanks, Monica, for the advice :)

Child will get her cash. I will deliver. Woe to her if I am alone any of the first 14 nights after my surgery.

 

Freaky Wednesday

While it seems to be true that women are programmed to hunt and gather, I have lost interest in shopping unless I am looking for something I need. Child asked me to shop with her two days after Christmas. She knew I had no intentions of even walking in a mall for at least a week, so I assumed she planned on staying away from them. Yes, I do know how the word "assume" breaks down.

Christmas was a non-event here. Child and I were, between us, invited more than five places. Two were neighbors, requiring not even a car key nor sobriety for attendance. One was a relative, my closest family, who invited me the day before. They love me, they really do. We were expecting to spend most of our time, as we did last Christmas, at the home of Child's friend. I am also friends with the friend's mother.

However, child and said friend were having issues. Child wasn't even sure if she was invited. I knew I was, having spoken with the mother recently. I didn't want to deal with the intricacies of fractured friendships. I didn't even want to change out of my jammies. Child and I opened gifts, had a nice time of it, but she continued to fret over her friend.

To avoid confrontation like that is not like me. I wanted to call the mother, ask what the situation was looking like at her end, and make a decision about what to do. I didn't want to go there without child, of course. My plan was to spend the day with her.

I offered her a beer. That worked. She calmed down, I had a beer too, and we started to talk. Several beers later, we realized it was dark out and we hadn't eaten all day. By this time, I wasn't about to go any where to eat, so I heated up some leftovers for child. I really wasn't hungry. We ran low on beer, so I switched to goose and Cranberry to allow child to have the beer.

Friend's mother eventually called me. I said we didn't go because I wasn't able to drive and we lost track of time. All true, but I still didn't like things as they were. I felt child needed to settle her differences before I spoke to the mother and said the wrong thing.

Oh yeah, the shopping. So, we decided to go shopping. We had lunch at Chilis, and child said she hadn't yet found what she needed for her trip where we had already shopped, so she wanted to go to A Mall. I sighed. Multiple times. Drove us to the mall.

Everyone was at the mall. I am used to walking in malls when I can actually walk without touching anyone. Child was in her element. Her eyes were almost glowing. I was getting crabby. She made me laugh by telling me that she told a male friend that she was going shopping at Forever 21 and he told her she needed to go to Almost 30 (she will be 27 in 2 weeks). She asked me if I thought she should dress like she is almost 30, and I said don't ask me, since I don't.

I don't know how men do it. How can they follow a woman around a mall and just watch them touch things they aren't going to buy? I was starting to nod knowingly at men who were sleeping in chairs, leaning on walls, and looking bored as I was. I was getting impatient, crabby, bored, and my feet were starting to ache. I hadn't worn the right shoes for being upright for 7 hours.

Eventually I started to voice my discomfort. Child tried to calm me, assured me she was almost done. I started feeling like a two-year-old who was forced to shop with mommy.

It helped when she said that if I would just be good in one more store, we could get a Dairy Queen on the way out.

She let me go potty, too.

 

puppy papers

Like Remo, I got court papers recently on a case I don't recall at all. They showed up in my mailbox, with a note that I would also receive a certified copy. Yes I did, several days later.

The letter says, in part:

YOU ARE UNDER SUBPOENA UNTIL YOU ARE EXCUSED BY THE COURT OR THE PROSECUTOR. FAILURE TO OBEY THE COMMANDS OF THIS SUBPOENA AND THE REASONABLE DIRECTIONS OF THE PROSECUTING ATTORNEY AS TO TIME AND PLACE TO APPEAR MAY SUBJECT YOU TO PENALTY FOR CONTEMPT OF COURT.

Yes, it is in ALL CAPS just in case I feel like being yelled at or can't handle upper and lower case in the same sentence.

It's not a big deal. I could have gone to my old office, picked up the case, read it, found out who beat the crap out of a child or diddled or neglected, and driven to court and testified in front of the judge for the bench trial. There was just one small problem.

I received the first copy of the letter on December 13, 2006 at 3 pm. The trial was on December 13, 2006 at 1 pm. It took over a week to get forwarded to me.

Going would mean a 50 mile round trip drive, at least 4 hours - all as a gift to the legal system. No over time pay. I don't have earned income, so I can't get one and a half times of it. I have had to go before, and I didn't mind. Much.

I contacted everyone when I moved, and they chose not to use that information. I also called when I got the letter so they could advise me if the trial was postponed or adjourned or whatever, or if an order was made to snatch me off the streets.

So, I am in contempt of court, but maybe they can't find me.

 

Don't eat that!

Putting up the Christmas tree has been a long time tradition in many families. It was in ours. Every year, we got all the old stuff out of the attic. Usually they sent me up there through all the cobwebs because I was the smallest. We had real trees for many years. I don't remember going to get them, but I do remember the needles. I swear, I used to get them imbedded in my knees in June because they weave themselves into carpeting.

Eventually, I got married and we started our own traditions. My ex and I always put the tree up together. He had to do most of the lights, because I can't reach the top of a big tree. My mom had given me some of the bulbs from when she and my dad had first married. I still have some of them, and they are very special to me. I have a few still from the first year of my own marriage.

I have ornaments from when my child was born, and one for each pet. Some were gifts. Some are from people no longer in my life. For a few years, I added one from Tiffany every year, figuring that would be a nice thing to leave to the child. She didn't seem too enthused, so I stopped buying them. I don't think I have added any ornaments in quite a few years. A couple of years ago I gave some of the really old ones to my nieces and nephews, and I downsized my tree.

For a while, I didn't even have time for a tree. I was spending most weekends and holidays at the home of my former boyfriend, and he didn't "do" any holidays. No tree there. I was working most holidays, keeping the pedophiles and other child abusers in line.

Now, I am retired and have my little tree. I put it up usually by myself. This year I needed a little assistance from Stella. You know Stella? Artois? I was feeling a bit of sadness when I unwrapped some of these ornaments of my life history. I found my baby ornament - a cheap red plastic santa with a glued on piece of fuzz for his beard. I have always loved it. Molly wants to love it too, so I have to keep it higher on the tree than I used to.

Knowing I would have a little trouble this year getting the tree up, I bought a CD to listen to TSO. My CD player died. I put the CD in my laptop, and listened to TSO for a while.

After two visits with Stella, I switched to The Killers.

Once I shoved the top of the tree up Father Christmas's ass, I knew it was over and I could sit back and relax and move on to some more pleasant memories.

It's always bittersweet, but I don't want to lose the tradition.

 

 

Suz goes shopping

This entry comes complete with brand name identification. I am that happy with these companies! Ad infinitum, e pluribus unum, ad hoc, whatever, Buyer Beware. (obviously I never had Latin class)

My Christmas shopping was done last week. Where do I go on Sunday? To the mall, as usual, to meet Late to walk. She was - guess!! go ahead, guess! Late! Not too much, though. Maybe 30 minutes.

Since I am obsessed with my shoulder surgery and with getting everything taken care of in advance that I can, I decided to get child's birthday present. Her birthday is three days before my surgery. Martin Luther King Day. She loved getting her birthday off in school.

When we were in Toronto I borrowed her Bebe sweat pants to wear to read in while she slept. They are in bad, bad shape. There is a big ink stain on them and a hole in the lower leg big enough to drive a truck through. She loves them and wants to replace them.

Being the nice mommy that I am, I decided to hit the Bebe Outlet store. I might be nice, but I am also frugal. I found a nice sweat pants and zipper hoodie set for 50% off. They were on a rack with several different sizes and two jacket styles. I decided that they probably won't be more than 50% off after Christmas, anyway.

Imagine my surprise when the sales clerk rings them up, after I had to wait a long, long time for a young female to get her order done. The price was not what I had come up with in my head as 50% off. I asked. She told me they were 30% off. I assured her they were on the 50% off rack and not as a lone piece, but with a grouping, all the same.

She went to the rack, returned to me, and said they are 30% off and someone must have moved them. My eyebrows went up. Late told her she should sell them to me for the advertised price on the rack, since that is where they were, and in a full grouping. Saleslady says, oh no, they were in the wrong place. Someone must have moved them and I have now moved them all back.

I decided, after a bit of giving her my opinion to go ahead and get them, saving myself the hassle of having to return to get the same thing later. Saleslady agrees to mark the receipt so they can be exchanged 3 days after their normal date so child can get them for her birthday.

Crabbily, we moved out of the store, Late and I bitching to each other about unfair marketing practices. I said I was pretty sure the exact same thing had happened to me before in the exact same store. Suddenly, it hit me that the saleslady did not mark the receipt, so we headed back. Keep in mind, this was right after the store had opened - really, no one had time to move an entire grouping of clothing from one rack to another. And anyway, why would they?

Imagine my surprise to return to the desk to hear another lady, holding the exact same outfit, yelling loudly at the same saleslady (I didn't yell - I only voiced my opinion) that the outfit was on the rack for 50% off and that was the price she intended to pay. I opened my bag, showed the contents to the potential buyer, and said that I had just had the same experience. I smiled.

Saleslady did not hassle me about the receipt - she wrote down the date for exchange as I requested. I left before I found out the results of the buyer, but my guess is, she paid 30% off or didn't get it at all.

Obviously, the store personnel moved that grouping back as soon as I left the store, since I did see the saleslady move it while I was there to the 30% off rack.

Bear with me. That is only story number one. Story number two happened today at Best Buy. After having finished all my shopping, I rewarded myself by ordering some Pratesi sheets. I sure hope they arrrive as ordered! Then I had an unexpected expense.

I bought a CD (rare enough for me), Trans Siberian Orchestra, and tried to play it last night. No go. No matter what I did, it said NO DISC. Eventually I remember that is why I hadn't used the CD player in a few years - it did the same thing back then. So, a little while ago I went to Best Buy to get a new one.

I didn't want anything fancy, just a shelf stereo that has acceptable wattage, can do CDs, cassettes, and has a tuner. Speakers on each side, more than one CD. No big deal. The guy showed me what they had, and I asked if theyhad any sale items that are last year's model. Frugal, that is me. Turns out that yes, they did. It was $156 and had everything I wanted. I asked the young man to put it in the cart for me because the box was 13 kilos - I said, Oh, about 28 lbs - he said, I think, 27...the box must be marked with both? Anyway, he put it in the cart for me.

I went to checkout and it had a very long line. I waited. Waited. Patiently; I had no place else I had to go right away. Finally I get a new girl, just opened a line up. She scans the box. Tells me it's $216. I said uh, it was $156, I think? (I realized that my memory has issues.) She said no, it's $216 with tax. I thought, hm, that is a lot of tax. She told me it was $216 pre-tax. I thought for a second, and then told her no, I was pretty sure it was $156, but still allowing for my leaky brain. She went to check. I told her I did not put it in the cart, that the guy did, so it wasn't my error.

She was gone long enough for me to go over to Circuit City and get something else, but I waited patiently. I kept wondering how stupid I was going to feel when I found out I was wrong.

She finally returned and said OH, look, the guy grabbed the one on the shelf next to or under it or something like that, and brought the $156 tag with her. She said that was a different one, and did I want the one he gave me? 

I almost said what I was thinking, but I said I wanted the $156 one, not the $206 one. Bait and switch? I don't know. I really don't. Are they smart enough there to do that?

She was gone long enough for me to find some date, go out a few times, start a family, and send the kids off to college. I was still patient. I know the sales people take a lot of hell this time of year.

Even so, both times, I can't help but wonder. Honest mistakes or unfair marketing practices? It definitely is a good idea to pay attention.

 

This is me, just me

I really need to keep an eye on these dogs, don't I? I take my eyes off them for one minute and they write in my own personal journal. Humpf.

It seems I forgot to write about my Friday night at Child's Bar. I would mention the name of where she works, but she would kill me. Let's say it's a national chain that people seem to absolutely love.

She used to be waitstaff, but to my pleasure she has been tending bar for the last year. Most Friday evenings I meet my Late Friend at the mall where the bar is, and we walk for miles so we can pretend we are staying in shape. Of course we usually go in Nordstrom for dinner. I love their steak salad.

This Friday, Late was going to be, well, Late. So I decided - hey, I will go to the mall early enough to miss the ugly holiday traffic and go to see child. It makes sense, yes? Child was delighted to see both me and my bag of homemade cookies.

Want to get free drinks and food? Bake cookies from scratch.

First, she decided I should try Blue Moon beer. OK, I have a new favorite beer, right after Stella. Maybe before. I need to do a few more field tests and let them duke it out. She put orange in it, like lime in Corona. It was yummy. After that, I decided I wanted cranberry juice and vodka.

Oh, my. She gave me the "good stuff." I have never had Grey Goose before, but it got my vote. Guess what two things are on my shopping list? Cranberry juice is one.

By that time, Late showed up. I was almost able to stand up and say HI. She sighed, sat down at the bar, and had a very strong Diet Coke. I smiled. She gave up on the idea of walking miles and miles.

We ordered dinner because Late was hungry. I hadn't even had lunch. We had lettuce wraps. Child offered me champagne. Who turns that down? She offered me another. The manager came by and asked me to order a Key Lime Pie martini. We shared it. We shared another.

Late continued to sigh. I thought about all the hours I have waited for her, and smiled as I ordered another cranberry juice and vodka.

Right about that time, child's new boyfriend showed up and introduced himself to me. Luckily, I did not need to stand up. I smiled at him, too. And his brother. Late realized this was going to be fun to watch, and she smiled. She even ordered another diet Coke to go along with the oriental noodles and prawns. I do love prawns.

New bf and I sized each other up. OK, he is bigger than I am. So is child. You are too. Trust me.

He has a sense of humor. I took advantage of it, even if I saw at least six of him.

He said he had heard that child was a handful and acted out once or twice. Without hesitation, I said yes, especially all those women.

Oooh, that worked. He was speechless. She wasn't. Late ordered another diet Coke, but I think she really wanted rum in it.

How did I find out he has a sense of humor?

Have I mentioned that Late is a woman of color? When child said, "There is my mom!" guess which of us stuck up an arm?

It wasn't me.

 

I won!

Mom won't write because she is in a bad mood. It has something to do with the silly looking fake tree she is putting up in the condo. She does this once a year. All I know is, we aren't allowed to even look at it. It also has something to do with me biting the vacuum cleaner again.

Oh yeah, thanks for asking about Baby. Her wag is better. Now she is smacking me in the face with that tail again all the time. This is supposed to be an improvement? I guess it's better than listening to her scream when she has to pee. That was embarrassing.

Anyway, it was kind of warm today so mom decided to take us for a walk. Oh boy! As soon as we went outside we saw Linda with Rocket, the other beagle, across the pond! Oh boy even more! Mom had trouble keeping her footing in the snow with mud under it, but we finally dragged her over to Rocket! We hadn't seen Rocket in a while. Her butt still smells the same, except I think she got some turkey recently.

The sun went away, so we all went to Linda's home for a little while. Baby and I were maybe just a little crabby because mom took us out at our dinner time and we know Linda was offering to give us treats and mom said no. Rocket is an only dog and not used to sharing. She even got mad at mom once at our home and bit her because she thought mom was hiding a treat from her, but mom didn't have one in her hand. That made me mad, but she was company that time so I pretended to ignore it. Rocket really likes the desiccated liver mom had.

This time, mom and Linda went in the other room and left all of us beagles in the kitchen with an open container of treats on the counter. Rocket wanted more. We did too, but we know better. I got too close to the counter and Rocket tried to nail me.

Mom and Linda came running when they heard all the growling and nasty sounds. I didn't care for being attacked, so I defended myself. Baby tried to disappear. Linda separated us and mom grabbed me.

Oops. There was blood on the floor. Baby definitely tried to hide behind mom. I tried to suck up to mom and Linda, because I couldn't help it. I am sick, right? I can't be attacked by my best friend.

Whoops. It wasn't my blood. Rocket had a bloody ear! Rocket tried to bite Linda when she checked it out.

I WON!!!

Mom pretended to be sorry. She said not to give us any treats right away because we fought.

I WON!

Baby never made a sound. She was very upset, but somehow she blended in with the walls.

I WON!

Mom took us home. I said I was sorry again. Mom smiled. She gave me extra prednisone because I probably burned up all of my morning dose. My body does not produce adrenaline. Mom has to be my adrenal glands.

Rocket can be a bitch, but we all love her anyway.

I WON!

I WON!!

 

 

 

Need a pearl

How do I get blood out of builder grade flat paint that was sprayed on?

    

Hello, my name is....

Hello, this is Baby speaking. Uhm, typing. Whatever. My mom has been starting to bounce of walls - fun to watch - because she has been inside too long keeping an eye on me and my tail.

I don't speak up often. I am the kind of dog, who, if I were a husky, my view would always be of another dog's backside. I don't lead. I am happy to be told what to do unless I want to smell something, then please, let me smell it. I might even want to roll in it, but let's not go there. Mom says I am passive. Molly says I better do what she tells me to. The cat used to corner me and make me sit. I am good with it. Just feed me and let me sleep if nothing else is going on.

The new neighbors all love Molly. I don't think they even see me because Molly goes up to them and is quite the cute little suck up. I don't mind. Everyone is happy and I just wait, hoping someone will realize maybe I am not invisible. Mom thinks I am like a shadow, just quietly waiting for attention. It must be true, Mom knows everything.

Mom noticed I was unable to wag my tail. She is pretty sharp - ever since Molly came down with that icky illness, Mom watches us like hawks. I was really, really hurting, but didn't want to make an issue of it. However, when I couldn't squat to pee, Mom said, Uh oh - we are going to the vet.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy we got to go see the vet ladies! I love it there :). Usually Molly gets all the attention, but this time they all noticed ME. I wasn't sure how to deal with all of the attention, so I tried to just be a Good Dog. If Mom hadn't dosed me up with that good stuff, I might not have been able to let the vet lady lift my tail, and I might not have been so excited, but well, it all worked out OK. Molly and I both got shots, and the treats were great. Mom always takes treats with us to the vet. What a deal - Molly gets a shot, and I get treats!

People laugh at my name. Baby, they say, what kind of a name is that? Well, Mom has this idea that dogs will tell her what name they want. They just tell her. I am a follower and I didn't get the rules. So, I was temporarily assigned the name of Baby-X. Finally, Mom thought I said my name was Rosie, but it just didn't entirely feel right, so I went back to Baby. I like it, OK? It's Mine. Of course, if you want it, I will give it to you. You can have my toys, too. Please take Molly, while you are at it.

This morning I got up after sleeping - I tell you, I lie down and then it's morning - and screeched a little getting off the bed. What an improvement! Mom dragged us outside in the cold -  it's really cold, but I don't care, I will go wherever Mom wants me to - and I managed to do my business slowly and carefully and didn't make a sound. That made Mom happy. So, I am happy. I am always happy.

Tomorrow, I hope to have my wag back. We dogs, we need that wag. It gives us balance and a way to greet people. It feels strange not to be able to wag. My tail just hangs there.

I hope Mom feeds up before she goes out. Mom is a great hunter. She leaves us for a little while and returns with bags and bags of food! How does she do that?

Molly says I have to get off the computer now. She wants to look up some recipes for dog treats.

I am good with that :)

 

 

The tail tale

Remind me never, ever to take two beagles who are both high on Valium to the vet by myself again. Picture twin children, age two, raised by wolves. Give them some speed. Confine yourself with them in a small examining room for two hours.

For some reason, Valium highly increases the appetite of beagles. They bounce off walls. They jump up, down, up, down...sideways. They are happy, not stressed, but they need their batteries to run down.

Usually Molly gets the Valium only, and Baby just comes along for the ride and is pretty much invisible. Not today. They were both extremely active.

According to the vet, Baby has a broken wag. Her tail isn't broken, it's "hurt," and she can't wag it. She still won't pee. Squatting is exquisitely painful for her. Her anal glands were expressed, and there was no problem "in there." As soon as we got home, she wanted to go outside. It's very cold, windy, and raining. We walked around and around. We went back in, took off my coat, my shoes, her collar, her leash, Molly's collar, Molly's leash. I sat down. Ten seconds later, she wanted to go back out. Molly decided to come along. We put everything back on, walked around and around. She sort of squatted about an inch a few times, then changed her mind.

Finally, she squatted maybe an inch, screamed something awful, and dropped the biggest load of poop I have ever seen a small dog do. It happened so fast that I didn't even see it at first. No pee. )The vet was not concerned over a possible bladder infection.)

We came back in the house, and both dogs are sleeping off the Valium. Baby got a shot of Rimadyl and I have to give her two Rimadyl tablets every day for five days, and then she is supposed to be cured. I have to trust my vet, but I am not so sure about this.

I also gave Molly her Percorten-V shot, the one that keeps her alive. The vet and the tech drew the Rx, held her for me, and I stuck the needle in. I then tried to push the plunger. I found that I had to work very, very hard to do that. Thanks, doctor, you really did a job on my hand when you killed that nerve and I lost the use of a major muscle.

Molly made one little squeak, and when I was done, she turned around and thanked me for giving her the medication that has saved her life. She then thanked the tech and the vet.

Before I gave her the shot, I was holding the syringe. She jumped up for it, like it was a treat. Don't tell me Molly is a dumb animal. Baby maybe isn't too bright, but Molly knows the score.

No seizures. Not one. No indication of one pending. Molly can again go inside the vet's office.

Of course, she still needs the Valium to go.

What do I get? Oh yeah, the bill. Or should I say, The Bill?