Pick a number

Pick a number. Any number. Claim it will be the high temperature for the day. Get paid. Go home, have an adult beverage, laugh your ass off, get laid, go to sleep.

That is how I sometimes picture weather forecasters. The WF for today said it would be 67 degrees for a high, with rain. So, I put on a tank top and a button cardigan sweater and jeans, high heels, and took off early to coach the Windows XP class I am currently volunteering my time for. Don't tell me about teaching old dogs new tricks - the senior citizens in that class are doing so well that I hardly need to be there to help out.

After that, I had lunch with a friend. By that time, it was clearly sunny and warm. Very warm for less than 67 degrees. I was suspicious. I had to leave the sweater on, since my tank top was too skimpy on its own to be worn alone. Luckily, I like to be warm. Lunch was wonderful. We went to a local tavern that is well known for their superb hamburgers and has been around for a half decade or so. Their pickles are early dills; very succulent.

Upon leaving the restaurant, I was positive that 67 was not going to be our high for the day. After a hug and a quick kiss, I was back in my car with the a/c on. I love to be warm - if I had the a/c on, it was warm out.

Next stop: library. I dropped off two books and swore the one they are showing overdue was returned several weeks ago. The librarian gave me an Evil Eye, but I stuck to my story. She primly told me that she would check the shelves to verify my claim. I said I was positive, but that I realized I would have to pay for the book if it wasn't there. It happens now and then - I drop off a book, and it falls through a magic hole in the floor.

I picked up a new pair of jeans yesterday and was surprised to find them a little big. I stopped to buy a pair a size smaller, but of course they didn't have the same ones in the next size down. Hot water might save the day. My mind was more on a long walk with the beagles, since the temperature was definitely closer yet to pleasing me.

As I was almost home, I looked to the south. Ah, clear, blue skies. I looked to the north. Ooops. Black sky. Was that thunder I heard? Oh my, for sure that was lightning! Better hurry; the dogs don't like to get their feet wet.

I rushed in the door, grabbed the leashes, got the dogs ready, and hurried them out the door. They were whining - mom, you were gone over 6 hours! Yeah, but hey, I want to walk! Let's hurry so I can change to walk. Being dogs, they immediately forgot that I had been gone and dragged me to the backyard so they could pee. Why not pee closer to the house? Despite all my attempts to walk on my toes, my heels sunk into the dirt a few times. Nice black leather shoes, soft as a....baby's bum? Slightly dirty now. Oh well.

We came back in and I checked my computer to see if the book was showing returned. Sure enough, it was off my account. Maybe the book my daughter walked off with in January - nah. Not going to lie to a public library. They might check things out and find out I moved from that city in July and take away my precious card I have had for 30 years at the same library.

Before I could get changed, the rain started. Woooo, a huge storm! The temperature? 79 degrees.

I love the heat, I really do. But somewhere there is a weather forecaster who has had an adult beverage and is laughing, and soon will get laid. Payday is Friday.

That guy has our number.

 

 

 

Spring for a day

The previous high for today was 72 degrees. Today I know it hit 79 degrees - maybe even 80. It is very strange to see weather that warm, with birds flapping around and everyone smiling, but there are no leaves on the trees yet. It seems slightly surreal.

The beagles and I took three walks. I couldn't get out the front door without one neighbor or another joining me for a walk of a mile or two. The beagles were in hog heaven. Their hog status is one reason they need to walk on a daily basis for several miles.

As usual, every time Baby saw someone she knows, a dog she knows or just wants to meet, or a human she thinks might be fun, she howled. She has great voice projection. Oddly enough, people don't look annoyed. They preen at the idea of being heralded by a happy beagle. It makes them Very Important People who are  Recognized. It relieves me. I am happy they aren't angry about the loud heralds. She can go around the block several times and see the same people over and over - each time, she is as happy to see them as she would be if she hadn't seen them for months. Molly just wags her rear end and smiles for food. She is still known as the Neighborhood Suck Up.

On the first walk, I noticed something on my right lens of my sunglasses. First, I thought maybe a twig. Then maybe a caterpillar. I pulled them off to see - and found a crabby bee looking back at me. Without hesitation, those sunglasses hit the cement. The bee took off with a smirk, and I retrieved my glasses. My co-walker listened to my quick explanation, and understood why I suddenly took off my sunglasses, threw them to the ground, then put them back on.

Dog people become poop experts. We also become poop clean up experts. Poor Waldo's mom really got hit with it tonight. She cleaned up one pile. Then he left her another. She had only one bag. I handed her another. She was going to open the first bag and reuse it - ewwww. Waldo was having a great time - he dropped a third bomb. I smiled, and handed her another bag. This time she got it on her hands and the outside of the bag. Waldo was not having firm poopies. I opened another bag and held it open for her to drop all 3 bags in it. I told her she could not wipe her hands on my pants.

We ran into a few new dogs today. Baby howled at all of them. Two were cockers, like Waldo. The last one has irritable bowel syndrome. The mom and I had a nice talk about firm poopies and how they are a sign of good health. I had never met her before. Dog people know how to bond over poop. Molly then peed on Snuggle's lawn. Everyone was happy.

Tomorrow, it won't be as warm, but who cares? Today was beautiful, and spring is on the way. Maybe we will eventually get leaves, too!

 

Further kiltered news

Balance in life is important. When I have bad news, I try to count the good that will offset it. If it can be off-kilter, I don't see why it can't also be kiltered.

Absinthe can be owned in the USA. It can't be bought. Do not ask me how I got it; just let me say, I want more. The whole lore involving the louche and the coloring - it sort of makes sense. There is an opalescence to it when mixed with water that is just beautiful. The kind I had in Toronto was highly interesting - however, it had no anise in it. The French kind does. I had no idea there are so many different choices.

Good news: I have some absinthe. Bad news (or maybe more good?): there are so many different kinds!

Good news: I have looked at quite a few different SUVs to lease. Bad news: I cannot make up my mind.

Good news: The Lexus dealer today suggested that I extend my lease on my Toyota. Bad news: The Lexus dealer today suggested that I extend my lease on my Toyota.

Good news: Everyone else has finally settled their plans for my trip to AZ. Bad news: Not sure I can get a decent ticket the same time that Late is going. I might be very late to meet her - I hope we can connect at all. I hope she lets me stay in her house without her.

Good news: My nephew in Phoenix and his wife had their baby boy this morning. Bad news: I will be 100 miles from them when I go. I will find a way to get there!

Good news: I will finally get my taxes done tomorrow. Bad news: I know, I just know I am missing some papers. He is over an hour away, but he is a good friend and a good CPA. I do not have a fax machine, either. Well, I do have one, but it doesn't do VoIP.

Good news: I have an offer on my house, and after my counter-offer, we both agree to do it. Bad news: Until the deal is closed and final, I will be a wreck. Totally a wreck. The inspection is this weekend. I was asked to be gone for a few hours. I asked why, since I don't live there? Oops.

Good news: I am coaching a class in Windows XP that I signed up for. Badnews: I didn't realize it was a morning class. It starts at 9:30 am. I start at 10 am. I am physically there, but not really functioning until after 10 am. So far, no one has really noticed the difference. Is that good or bad?

 

 

Good news, bad news

Good news: I finally got the energy up after numerous months and took in my ink cartridges from my printer to be refilled. Bad news: the girl couldn't refill them. I had to buy new ones after all. At least I know it wasn't just me - all she could get was green, too.

Good news: Late is recovered from her pneumonia and has booked for Tucson. I am invited along again. Bad news: The fare will be at least double last time. Last time was winter break - this time is spring break. I don't know if I can swing it or not. Dog care will double, also. I would still be paying for the car to be sitting empty offsite at the airport here, as I doubt we would be flying on the same days, let alone the same time of day.

Good news: It was 75 degrees here yesterday in MI. Bad news: While walking the dogs for 3 miles, I almost slipped on ice a few times. Tomorrow it drops back to the 40s. Today was 60 degrees, but dark and gloomy and then rainy. Warm and wet beats cold and sunny for me, though!

Good news: Waldo's mom (my neighbor) brought me some dinner tonight because she knows I am still having trouble wrangling pots and pans around. Bad news: I had stopped while out and grabbed a piece of pizza. I hope she didn't smell it on my breath.

Good news: I am getting a new car. SUV. Whatever. Bad news: My lease is up on Monday, I haven't even looked for a replacement vehicle yet, and my car is full of heavy stuff I have been picking up from the old house.

Good news: For someone, anyway. I dropped the price on my old house again. Bad news: The economy is so bad here, I have dropped it almost $80,000 so far. Not one offer yet. I will probably have to drop it again.

Good news: Daylight savings time doesn't upset my system at all. Bad news: I don't have a sleeping pattern, so how could it be ruined? The whole concept of DST just drives me batty, though. You just can't change time. Time just IS.

Good news: I gave Molly a shot entirely on my own. I had to draw the medication out of the vial and give it to her. Bad news: No one taught me the "trick" to getting the medication into the syringe. At 1 am, I was online learning the "trick." Once I got it, the shot went without incident. Molly did it all herself (j/k).

Good news: I finally have the dates of when to try to go to AZ. Bad news: Molly's next shot is due during that week.

Good news: Chelsea Quinn Yarbro has a new vampire book out. I have it in my hands. Bad news: I have to read a few other books first.

Good news: My shoulder is still healing. Bad news: The PTs are working me harder. It hurts ALL the time now. It's just incredible how weak that arm and shoulder are. It's embarrassing is what it is! If I stand sideways to a wall, put the back of my hand against the wall and then push gently, it hurts so much I want to cry. I have to do that 5-10 times at least 3 times a week in PT, and then redo it facing the wall. I used to pick up 250 lb men and throw them over my back? I can't pick up my purse with my right hand now, and I carry small purses. You should see my handwriting! LMAO!

Good news: After finally seeing a painting I like, and agonizing over it for weeks, I went back today to break my bank and buy it. They still had it. Bad news: It was slightly damaged. The offer of a discount didn't sit well with me. They are ordering a new one - it's a limited edition series, so I am half expecting a call that they can't get another. It will take 3-4 weeks to arrive. Where will I be? Probably in AZ. I love it, I really do. I was all set to bring it home and hang it up.

OK, someone else would have to hang it. All right, so someone else would have to get it out of the car for me, too. But I could have come home and looked at it in my car. Until Monday. Maybe the car salesman would have moved it to my new car for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Third j-Anniversary

Today my mother would be 90 years old, if she had not been a smoker for 60 of her 77 years that she did live. Other than lung cancer that had metastasized, she was perfectly healthy at age 77.

It is also the third anniversary of my journal. I had thought I might have some profound words to say today, but I was wrong.

Today is a cold, snowy, dreary, ugly day where I live. Even the dogs are holding it until the last minute so they don't have to spend much time outside. There is ice under the fresh snow on the grass. What else to expect? It's still very much winter here and will be for a while.

I broke something in my washing machine. The thinamajibber that hooks into the whatchamacallit broke off and the witabitter is flapping around loose. It still works, if I don't put anything too heavy in it. It looks like a cheap piece of plastic snapped in half, but my guess is that the warranty probably ran out last month and it will cost just more than half the original cost to repair it and the entire guts will have to come out.

I might try to do that myself. It sounds like fun.

However, my brain must have a broken witabitter in it, too. I have nothing profound to say, other than I am glad I found the journals and I have enjoyed all my time here, reading, writing, and even doing a little 'rithmetic.

I love you guys :-)

 

 

Abstract art

Today I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch after he had a meeting. The meeting ended at 9 am instead of 11 am, so he called and asked if he could just come here. I said sure. Hey, it's raining ice outside today. I wasn't excited about going out.

Of course, that meant I had to clean everything Right Now. I jumped in the shower, did my make up, and started fluffing up the condo. I haven't been able to keep things as ideally done since the shoulder surgery, but I try.

I also decided to have some cranberry juice with just a touch of vodka. It helps me relax. Yeah, go figure.

I hadn't seen this friend in a few weeks and I was looking forward to the visit. He has been rather ill, and he didn't want to share with me. I said bring it on, I will either get sick for the first time in many years or my immune system will get a good workout.

He wanted a plain glass of cranberry juice, which I gave him, and asked him to fix my cable TV. One of my dogsitters had decided to use it while I was gone, and she messed it all up with the wrong remote. I have no knowledge at all of how TVs work any more. That is why I have a friend who is an engineer. Please fix.

So, while he was playing with two remotes at once and getting everything to work better than it ever did, I was watching a little off to the side. My mind was wandering, and the ice was melting in my glass. I was holding it in my left hand.

Let me back up a bit. While I was pouring his glass of juice, I bashed my left shoulder into the refrigerator, whacked my hip on the kitchen island, tripped over my own feet, and laughed. I said I am clumsy in the mornings. Always. I don't cook in the morning because if I try to, I burn myself. It's pitiful, but just a fact of my existence that I have sort of accepted. He complimented me on my glasses, which I bought after I moved here. They are very nice, and somewhat fragile. I mentioned that I worried about breaking one and the dogs' feet getting cut, and how hard it would be to take care of 8 cut feet, plus mine, all at once.

Not five minutes later, while I was standing and watching the remote routine, the glass became wet from condensation. I didn't pay any attention to the thought - I am not left-handed, but my left hand had to hold the glass. My right shoulder is achy again. (Twice this week I went to my old house and picked up stuff to bring to the condo.)

Without any other warning, the full glass suddenly slipped through my fingers and hit the floor on an angle. I had no idea that juice and vodka and crushed ice could spray straight up ten feet. Who knew? I bet I couldn't get that impressive of a splatter pattern again if I tried.

I am disappointed in myself. I once was holding a takeout cup by the top and the top came off. I managed, with the same hand, to grab it without spilling any, before it hit the floor. My reflexes are good, it was just too early in the day.

It hit the wall, the TV, me, the carpet, the sofa, and a few other things. My condo is mostly off white. Cranberry juice has a resemblence to blood when viewed in a splatter pattern.

I couldn't stop giggling. Even while I grabbed a rag and did the carpet and the lower part of the wall, and my friend washed off the higher parts on the wall, I was still laughing. We agreed it looked like a slasher movie.

The walls will never look the same until I can paint them, but I will laugh every time I see the faint streaks in the crappy builder-grade paint.

The glass did not break.

It still would have been funny even if it had.*

 

 

 

                  *No dogs were injured during this act of clumsiness.