Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

I just want to wish everyone a safe and happy holiday! xoxo

 

Lessons learned

Jellogirli threw down the gauntlet. Who am I to refuse a challenge?

2004 ... lessons learnt

 

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?

That list is longer than I want to get into here! But I did face some fears and drive over a very scary bridge to Canada alone. I volunteered to teach computer classes to senior citizens.
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't make resolutions at New Year's Day. I try to keep a running list.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?

A first cousin.

5. What countries did you visit?

Canada.
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?

My yardwork all done.
7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

July 13.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

That damned bridge! I did it twice.
 9. What was your biggest failure?

Failure?
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I do not get sick. No major injury, either. I did get an interesting swelling over my left eye a few weeks ago, does that count?
11. What was the best thing you bought?

My daughter's Christmas present.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My sweetie. We celebrate every time we get together.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Can't think of any, not counting national figures.
14. Where did most of your money go?

Most of my money goes into my white elephant of a house. I didn't do anything major to it this year, it's just the regular maintenance costs of living in a big home.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The trips I took this year.
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?

An old song by Moev.
17. Compared to this time last year, you are:

Happier.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Oh, well, uhm. Hm. You know.Working out, too.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Waiting for people.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Home with my daughter and her boyfriend, maybe visiting around after they leave.

21. How would you rather be spending Christmas?

See #18.
22. Did you fall in love in 2004?

Maybe.
23. How many one-night stands?

Zero. Ick.
24. What was your favorite TV program?

Six Feet Under is the only program I watched on televison all year.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

I don't hate anyone.
26. What was the best book you read?

I read hundreds of books. They were all great!
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I enjoy hip hop, but I didn't discover it.
28. What did you want and get?

I got what I wanted. I pretty much have everything I want.
29. What did you want and not get?

I wanted to go on a cruise again this year.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?

I only saw a few this year, even though I usually see many. I don't recall any standing out.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I went out with my daughter and her boyfriend and almost got in a bar fight. I am 55. Yeah, I am old.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Unlimitedfunds? A live-in housekeeper? A cruise? Finding a new dog sitter for when I travel?
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?

Hm. This year I was into black slacks and tight tops in bright colors. I let my hair get long again. I wore girlie things and added my little Prada bag.
34. What kept you sane?

Unbridled lust.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Hm. I liked watching LL Cool J do his video for "Headsprung." Go figure.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?

I don't do politics, but global warming concerns me.
37. Who did you miss?

Many of my friends live in other states now, and I don't get to see them often enough. I miss them.
38. Who was the best new person you met?

My students in my computer classes. They are awesome and learn so fast!
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:

I reinforced an old lesson. Never pass up a chance to pee. (No, I did not have an accident, lol.)

Shall we cook?

It's four days until Christmas and not a single email or phone call from my family regarding dinner on Christmas. I have spent every holiday with them for a few years now. We didn't for many years, due to some issues that seemed to be resolved. I have been spending every holiday at one home or another.

Oops. I guess I am cooking for my daughter and her boyfriend on Christmas. It's not that I don't want to. Actually I am good with the idea of not having to drive around on a major holiday. I wasn't prepared for the idea and had just gone to the grocery store yesterday. Living alone, I didn't see any reason to buy a turkey. My tree is not up and wasn't going to go up. Now it will.

Add in the slight stress that my daughter's boyfriend owns a nice restaurant and is an excellent cook. They won't be here all day, since there are other places they need to go, so I will be home alone for a lot of the day. Just like I was for years. Sigh. At least I am not on call on holidays for children's protective services any more and won't get called out to see any sexually abused babies or little children with broken arms.

On the bright side, I can make whatever I want for dinner instead of cooking some dishes and then coming home empty handed. I will have some leftovers this time.

Chewy is back

At the moment my life is pretty dull. I am once again dogsitting for my niece's beagle/golden. He was no longer invited to his last home away from home after he ate the bedding in one of the bedrooms. He has serious separation anxiety due to having been originally raised by an unstable alcoholic. I thought Molly, my beagle, had separation anxiety. Wooo, not compared to this sweet beast.

He howled and whined and cried and paced for hours yesterday. He ignored the beagles, who wanted to play with him. He should be in dog heaven, two hot little ladies chasing him around. But he was wallowing in misery, missing his family. Poor guy. They will be back late tomorrow night. We will all be glad to see them! I can't leave the house while he is here, so I am stuck inside from yesterday afternoon to late tomorrow night. In other words, the entire weekend. Sigh.

In return for giving up my weekend and the current comforter on my bed that now has a fist-sized hole in it, my nephew is installing an ironing board for me. It is built into the wall, like a cabinet. You open the door, the board comes down, and there is an outlet inside to plug the iron into. I want it right next to my walk in closet, so I can iron without running through the house every morning. We had a communication malfunction and he put it at 36 inches instead of 32 inches. OK, I can deal with that. However, he ran into some difficulties with the wiring and it isn't hooked up yet. I keep glancing at those wires, thinking, "I can do this." So far, I haven't tried. I don't have any end caps.

I hope he does it soon, because I am really looking forward to having this. For some reason, I find ironing to be a calming chore, compared to most household chores, so I don't mind doing it or the laundry.

Sure, go ahead. Send me your laundry. I will get to it some day.

Christmas song

You will need to cut and paste the link. It's pretty funny.

 

http://www.playingsafely.co.uk/12stisofchristmas/12-STIs.html

All dressed up

I found a good deal on a Coach pilot bag a few months ago after my suitcase turned up with a broken leg, um, wheel. It has a nice leather front on it. I am sitting here fondling that soft leather, nostalgically thinking about the trips I have been on since July. I went out of town every month from July through November.

No one will feel sorry for me, but I haven't been any place for more than a whole month now. My last trip was only an overnighter, and had it not involved flying across the country it would hardly count. I am all dressed up with no place to go. My family all lives here except one nephew, who lives in Phoenix. I think he is going to be here for Christmas anyway.

There is a slim chance I will be going for a short trip the end of January. There is also a slim chance I might find a new dog sitter who will deal not only with two spoiled rotten beagles. but also a 17 year old cat who screams at night. Her hearing is going, and she seems to need to vocalize at night. It sounds like screaming to me. It sounded like screaming to my other nephew who does not want to dog sit again because of the cat. 

Maybe Santa will take me along for part of his ride, although I am not sure that sleigh of his is heated adequately.

Those of you who know me know I will not be rushing to France to drive on their new bridge that is now the highest in the world. Just the thought gives me the willies! It looks pretty. From a distance.

Do I have to show bum cleavage?

My main bathroom tub has a shower also. There is a spigot to turn to cause the water to come out the spout or the showerhead. I can no longer turn this spigot, handle, whatever it is called. It has been getting harder to turn for years, and yesterday it just said no.

Using logic, since it refused to move, I used some sewing machine oil on it. No luck. I think the almost 30 year old faucet assembly needs to be replaced.

I want to learn to do this myself. I want a new one that I can set the temperature and just turn it off and on, without having to try to find the right temperature every night for my bath.

How ever did we manage to clean bathtubs without using a showerhead on a flexible hose to rinse them? I tried to dig back in to the dark ages of my mind, but it just seems like a very hard way to keep a tub clean.

Once I expand my skill set to replacing bathtub faucets, I want to learn to install windows. Why not? How hard can it be? men do it.

Jumbled thoughts, but all of mine are

Did I say all the bee things were sleeping? If you ever wondered where they go in the winter, I can tell you. They are all in my grill outside on the patio. I remembered that they were flying around the grill in the summer, and I made a mental note to throw the thing out. I lifted the lid off the grill before cleaning the doorwall glass, and found a billion of them in there. At least, it looked like a billion. I wanted to take a picture but didn't want to hang around. They were moving, but only a little. A bunch of them were just cuddled up, outside the nest. Brrr. Gave me the shivers, but they stayed in there.

After the required acrobatics to finish the windows, I was happy that today is massage day. I was given a new student today, much to my dismay. The girl I had last week was incredibly good. This time they gave me a guy. I hoped for at least strong hands.

Ah. The guy had a slight European accent, and true to form, I got him talking away. He is from Romania, and came over in the lottery. There is a diversity visa and his family was lucky. He was a physical therapist in Transylvania, having completed a 4-year university program. He would have to take classes here to get licensed, so he is starting with massage therapy, much to my good luck. I told him I have bursitis in my shoulders, and he worked on them. I never had so much pleasure with my pants on before. He also got all the kinks out from stretching to do windows and from carrying my heavy ladder.

I had asked for the same girl as last week for next week, but that was before the vampire worked on me. Now I am having trouble deciding between them. Sigh. Both have great hands.

The ladder to success

You normal heighted people don't know what we shorter people have to go through sometimes! I confess, I ride on an airplane more comfortably than most passengers. But sometimes, I have to get creative.

My windows are dirty. I can't remember the last time I washed the outsides of them. Maybe 5-7 years ago. Maybe even more. Maybe a bit less. But since I can't remember, it has been a long time. I had told myself I was getting new windows, so I kept putting the cleaning off. My weird house is a quad-level home. That means windows on 3 floors and a few basement windows. I cannot get to the highest floor. But they don't get that dirty, not much splashes on them. I get them professionally cleaned every now and then.

The ground floor I can get to. Those aren't too bad if I stand on the stoop to the door and hang one hand on the doorknob; then I can get to most of the glass. I only have to jump a little to get the very tops of some of them. Some require me to use a ladder. That is where the difficulty comes in.

The windows for the laundry room and kitchen are hard for me to get at. There really isn't a place for the ladder on the tiny porch for the laundry room door to outside. I stand on something small on the porch for most of them. To do the inside of the storm door, I have to put a ladder near the porch, put one foot on the step stool and one foot on a step of the ladder and stretch. It is a Kodak moment. The laundry room windows are just plain nasty to clean. They are on an inside corner of the dog run, and nasty stuff gets on the legs of the ladder and my shoes. Ick. The dirt there is very soft and uneven.

I can never forget when I am doing windows that once my mom, who was even shorter than I am, used a folding chair once to do her big windows in the front. From her I learned to stand on anything that works. She fell, broke a few ribs. My brother was home and was able to get help. I live alone. If I fall, no one might find me for a while. Hm, I think I will put the cell phone in my pocket when I do the back windows! Ladder placement out there is dicey too. At least the bee things are all asleep this time of year.

My mom used to do all windows, inside and out, every week, all year around. I don't get it.

Weird weather

When I got up this morning for my 9 am class it was ugly outside. The ground was wet and foggy, it was raining, and the dogs refused to put their little tooties out on the grass for their morning constitutional. Sigh. It was bad enough that Baby refused to go out last night. Instead I turned my back on her and she peed on my bed, which I found at 2 am when I went to bed. I had to strip the bed. Luckily, I keep two waterproof mattress pads around. Grrr.

So I bundled up into a rain jacket with a hood on it and took off for class. I was pleased with the gray, wet, crappy weather. It meant I could go shopping without crowds. We always have some seriously lousy weather days before Christmas and I take advantage of them. Usually it's a snow storm, but a heavy rain works too.

I went to the local mall, Target, TJ Maxx, PetSuppliesPlus (looking for boots and raincoats for the stubborn beagles), Val's Pet Supplies (so far no boots or raincoats for dogs), and a few other stops. No one was out and I got everything taken care of. However, a weird thing happened between the two pet stores.

The sun came out. We had a predicted high of 51 degrees, which is very warm for MI in December. Right now it's 57 degrees. The sky is clear, and it's sunny. I came home to feed the dogs, clean up after them, and get back out.

There were no surprises in the house, other than the fact that Baby held her water, so to speak. No little poopies on the bathroom rug. Why she can't hold it when I am gone 20 minutes but held it for 6 hours today is beyond my understanding. Molly was, as always, the perfect little lady. She is now snoring on the sofa. But I am out of here again, even though the crowds will now be out also. Shop steady!

High maintenance

I do not think of myself as being high maintenance, but days like today make me wonder. I first had to go to the dentist to have some fillings replaced in my front teeth and then to the medical clinic for a mammogram. Sounds like a fun day, doesn't it? I prefer massage day.

There is only one thing that gets me to the dentist for fillings or any other serious work. Repeat after me. Nitrous oxide. That has to be the greatest drug in the world. All he has to do is put it on, leave the room for a minute, come back, and he can do anything to me he wants. I think I am sensitive to it or something. I actually passed out once on my old dentist. He was considerate enough to give me the shots before he woke me up. I always ask for the highest dose he can give me. My teeth are ultra-sensitive, so he complies. Sometimes I need 6-7 shots to stave off the pain. Sometimes I still have tears running down my face while he drills. Most of the time, like today, he succeeds in numbing me. If he didn't use the gas, I wouldn't go.

The mammogram is also just one of those maintenance things we have to do. My clinic uses some very stylish 3-armholed gowns. They are a lovely shade of dull gray. They offer a modicum of privacy, but they make the work harder for the tech. She pulled off the first arm, and did my right breast. She went for the second armhole, and it was awkward. I finally just took off the gown to make it easier for her to just get it done.

She thanked me. The clinic does not allow the techs to suggest that it might be easier if the gowns are removed for the exam. I never really thought about it before, but I can see that it eliminates a lot of fumbling and fooling around with the gown.

Ladies, if you are comfy with the idea, see if your tech would find she can do a better job in less time without the gown. Fellas, what can I say. Do you wear some cute little special gowns for your prostate exams? You do get them as needed, right?

New massage therapist

Thursday I had a new massage therapist. I am the lucky one who lives close to a massage therapy school and gets a free massage every week. It's kind of like living close to the zip code for heaven.

This one is young, female, and has a very perky personality. She also has great, if cold, hands. I have a hard time believing she is new at massages, so perhaps she just needs the certificate. I have had some expensive massages in the past at some nice spas, but she probably has the best hands I have run across. I am always a sucker for the ones who do a nice scalp massage anyway.

After the massage she did the usual new student routine and offered me some exercises. She showed me a lower back exercise of sitting on the floor and streching palms to the floor. I looked at her, and said I was pretty sure my palms reach the floor when I sit. She seemed a little confused, so I sat down on the floor, legs straight out in front, and put my palms on the floor with no stretching at all. She still looked confused. It is supposed to be a stretch, and my elbows weren't even tight.

There was another student and the head instructor watching. Both looked at each other, said they weren't sure, and sat down too. All four of us were then sitting on the floor. Two of us were able to put our palms down, but my arms were the knuckle-draggers of the group. Height had nothing to do with it, as the head instructor, at 5'11" was the other one who could do it. I am 5'. I looked at them sitting on the floor comparing arm lengths, and got up and left.

I like doing field research.

I bet you got down and tried it out before you got to this point, right?

Nightmare Update

While going through my divorce, I had the most vivid dreams of my life. I used to joke that they were all movies, but without the credits. One night I actually had the credits appear. I thought it was pretty funny. Of course, the nightmares at that time were very intense and also way too real.

Last night I started to have a nightmare, then somehow woke myself out of it. I woke up with a start, thinking, "No more nightmares!" I had no idea such a thing was possible.

I always say that I never get sick, and I don't. Maybe I have also convinced myself to have no more nightmares. If so, I will get to work on this damn insomnia thing!

Repeat after me, I do not have a sleep problem.....

Nightmare Hero

I am very prone to nightmares. It isn't a sleep aid for my insomnia, either. I have had so many, and so very intense nightmares that I can wake up from one and go back to sleep without a sound. As far as I know I never cry or scream in my sleep. I have been told my Lovecraftian dreams do not disturb others.

They have been with me since childhood. I have no idea why. Sometimes they are more frequent than others. I can have several in one night. Sometimes they go on all night. I had one last week.

This one was different. For one thing, it happened during the day, during a quiet nap one afternoon. Someone came and saved me. The bad situation had already occurred, but someone came and got me, took me away from the situation, made me feel safe.

I haven't had a nightmare since. Do I dare hope?

Bad baby

I really need advice on this one. My two beagles are night and day sometimes. Molly is highly intelligent, totally housebroken, but chews things up if I leave the house. She can be creative about it, but her preference is to open the cupboard and drag out Tupperware if I am late for her dinner. She really is a love and not a problem. Usually.

Baby is playing with a full deck, but they are all low cards. Baby doesn't chew things up. She is too scared. Baby is high strung, more so than Molly. While Molly will literally worry herself sick if I am gone too long, Baby has another way of expressing her separation anxiety. She leaves a turd in my bathroom. Since it is on a throw rug and I have allowed them to use throw rugs due to my previous job that kept me gone sometimes up to 12 hours at a time, I have ignored the little turds, cleaning them up without any punishment. Now she is peeing on my bedroom carpet. That is not OK. I put down a puppy pee pee pad, and left the house. She used it. I was pleased and told her so. She hasn't peed on one since, but she is using the carpet. I tried time outs in the laundry room with no luck.

I realize I have spoiled these dogs. I don't think it would be right to suddenly force extreme obedience and deprivation of affection on them. I don't want to crate Baby, since Molly doesn't need it and I am pretty sure Molly would freak. If I shut my bedroom door, they will have no windows to look out due to the other rooms I have them blocked from when I am gone.

I need some suggestions! I trained my former dog not to sneak downstairs to the family room by covering the floor with plastic drop cloths. Dogs do not like to get their feet wet. I am just afraid of where Baby will start peeing if I keep her out of my room when I am not home. Help! Molly is 6, Baby is 5.

Black Friday

Today is a major shopping day. I do not partake of any shopping over Thanksgiving weekend. I will not go near a mall on a weekend other than for Sunday morning walks before the mall opens until after the holidays. No sale is good enough to get me in those crowds.

Instead, I made plans today to meet a friend for lunch about 20 miles away to the north, then go on to a doctor appointment about 40 miles farther from there. I drove without benefit of a freeway by my choice.

On my way to lunch, I noticed something was odd, and realized that just 15 minutes north of me there was a lot more snow. There were several inches of snow. Ice was hanging off the trees. If I hadn't been running late, I would have stopped and taken pictures. I was driving through the woods and it was absolutely stunning.

After a pleasant lunch, I drove on to the doctor's office in Port Huron, which is where that F***ing Bridge is that I hate so much that leads to Sarnia, in Ontario,  Canada. I did not have to go over the bridge. I took a much different route home, and realized again something was odd. There was no snow at all. There I was, to the north, in sight of the Canadian side, and no snow at all. Very strange!

I have seen enough trees, snow, ice, stop signs, small towns, old barns, cows, horses, roadkill, farm land and tractors to last me for a long, long time. I enjoyed the drive anyway, and hope everyone else had as peaceful of a day as I did.

Scairdy dogs

I hope everyone had as pleasant a Thanksgiving as I did. Oddly enough for Ms Squirrel, I ate very little. I did feed a real reddish brown squirrel (my color hair, actually) some nuts through the doorwall at my nephew's house. The little bugger was so determined to get his treats that I was afraid to open the door more than an inch or so to put the nut directly into his greedy little paws for fear he would come on in for turkey and gravy. That was the more polite of the two squirrels, actually. The black squirrel, smaller and friskier, was climbing the screen, hanging on it, and banging on the door for treats. Aggressive! Absolutely adorable, too. I am an easy touch for animals.

Last week my niece asked me to watch her son, age 4, and her daughter, age 11 for the afternoon, and then the 11 year old stayed overnight. Mom had Christmas shopping to do, so I won the babysitting privileges. I had forgotten what a 4 year old is like. I figured the dogs would entertain him. Yeah, that worked for a while until his screaming and running and flailing scared the crap out of my dogs. My dogs love kids, but were sneaking around hiding, their tails between their legs, and giving me the most pitiful "save me" looks I have ever seen. By that time, I myself was sitting in my recliner chair, legs up, developing a peculiar tic and full body shudder of fear. I repeatedly reminded him that we cannot hurt the dogs, nor can we bleed on the carpet. All bleeding must be done on linoleum. When I heard his mother at the door, I yelled, "SAVE ME!"

The 11 year old wants to come back. And why not? After her beastly (but sweet, just busy) little brother left we went shopping at an upscale mall and had dinner with a friend of mine. The next day we went shopping elsewhere, then dressed up for dinner at a nice seafood restaurant with my daughter. We ate what we wanted to and laughed a lot. She loves that I allow rap and hip-hop music. She is amazed that I not only allow it, I prefer it. We listened to the entire new Eminem CD. I told her he now lives within 5 minutes of the restaurant we went to for dinner.

She is coming back next Saturday with her dad so he can hook up my ironing board. It fastens into the wall, with an electic outlet and light in it. It will be attached right next to my walk in bedroom closet, so when I want to iron (which I do almost every day), I just need to open the door, drop the board down, and plug in the iron. No more running down the hallway to another room. Lazy again!

Mom asked if I would take the 4 year old also. When she saw all the blood drain from my face, she said she was just kidding. Sure she was. My tic is starting to go away now.

I am thankful for my friends, both online and offline. I am thankful for the ones who are both, even the one who calls me a cad now and then. I hope lotzamoe finds his nuts. I am glad Connie had a great family dinner. I am also glad Stacey was able to get a turkey and chow down with her crew at home. I hope Robin did well with her family. I am thankful that my daughter was able to make the family dinner, even though she had 2 more to go to after that. I am thankful that my pets are all well, even the screaming 17 year old cat. I am very grateful for my health and my newly found happiness. I am grateful that our country is such a safe place to be, although I think Canada is looking damn good to me lately. I am grateful for the new friends I will make over the next year. I have a feeling some will be very special to me in time. I am grateful to all of you, and hope that those of you who lurk will finally stop and say HI! Love to all. xoxo

I am a squirrel

Lately I have been tired and hungry. I don't have any idea why, unless it is seasonal. I realize I am part Swedish, English, French, Spanish, Irish, and Scottish. I had no idea I am also part Squirrel. I seem to want to burrow in, gather food, eat, and sleep as much as possible. This goes against my normal grain, which includes serious insomnia. I think it is a November thing.

Every November I gain some weight. It doesn't help that November has at least 200 days in it. This has happened for at least 10 years. I lose it by February. I get tired, lethargic, and I whine for warmer climes. My joints ache, and nothing will do but fattening foods. I am hoping it peaks tomorrow for Thanksgiving, because I can't keep this up!

Today we had rain, snow, sleet, hail, and freezing rain. We call it a winter mix. It sucks. I didn't hit any slick pavement until I hit my own subdivision, luckily.

Good holiday wishes to all and I hope everyone has a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving. We all have something to be thankful for, even if it is just for each other. This journal community has been a wonderful thing. I have enjoyed meeting and making new friends and hearing everyone's story.

I will be with my entertaining and unpredictable extended family tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Ladies Journal

I have started a "ladies' journal" for us of the female persuasion. We can rant, chat, talk over issues, ask questions we never had the guts to ask others before, and generally have fun. It's private and guys are not invited. Guys will, however, be the topic on occasion. All sexual orientations welcome. Bring your friends!

If you did not receive an invitation to this journal and would like to, just let me know.  It's not my journal. It is our journal. Bring topics!

The Bad Form Nipple Ripper

My former boyfriend called me a fat lazy slob. Not to my face, but to my friends. Maybe some of that is true. I am lazy in some ways. I purposely bought a watch that I don't ever have to take off. I can wear it in a hot tub, while I work out, and I am too lazy to remove it when I go to bed. In fact, I don't remove jewelry except earrings (which I no longer wear at all) unless I am changing it. I am too lazy to remove jewelry to go to bed. So sue me. I don't want to lose my watch, so it stays on. I know it's bad form.

I do remove pearls before a shower. I figure the strings would rot and the soap can't be good for pearls. But I do sleep in them.

I found a ring. I was shopping, went into the ladies' room at Nordstrom, saw a silver mesh ring jammed into the purse shelf, and stuck it in my pocket to take it to lost and found because it looked like a Tiffany ring. Attempts to locate the owner were fruitless and it's now mine. It is a Tiffany ring, much to my surprise. I stuck it on my middle finger of my left hand and went to Chicago.

Sorry, sweetie. I will leave it home next time.

Layering

PhotoShop Elements has been entertaining to learn. I hardly am proficient yet, but I could mess with some innocent looking pictures by now and get someone or another in trouble. It makes me wish I hadn't tossed the negatives showing me playing with the young lion in Galveston that bit me. The lion bit me, not the negatives. I didn't realize that some basic scanners can do negatives. I could make the lion look full grown.

PhotoShop uses layering. Monica had asked how to produce, for example, a picture in black and white of a bride holding roses, keeping the roses red. That would just involve removing the red roses on one layer, changing the original layer to grayscale, then layering the two together. Maybe also pull out her lips and leave them red, too. We can take two people from separate pictures and put them together in one. Or, we can take a passel of pictures and make a collage, maybe for a class or family reunion. We are also learning to retouch old photos and restore the quality, preserving them electronically. Too bad all those old, old family pictures I have do not have names on them.

When I got home from class today, I found another meaning of the word "layering." I don't do cold weather well. I had on a part-wool sweater set. I don't like to wear wool because it itches, but it is warm. I took that off, and put on a turtleneck. The heat is set at 72 degrees. I leave shoes on in the house to stay warmer. The computer is warm on my lap (wireless laptop). I finally ran upstairs and added a pullover polartec top. I am still cold. It would be hard to type in gloves. I know it is warm in the house, but I am cold. It's like the opposite of hot flashes, and I have had this problem with cold all my life. Even adding the cat lying here on my arm doesn't warm me up enough.

Yet I continue to live in the Detroit area, which is the only place in the contiguous states where it is possible to go south to Canada. It's only November. In another month or two, I will be into my favorite whine - I wanna go to Flooorrrida!!

HOW Old is this?

I am cleaning my kitchen pantry. Keep in mind that I live alone and don't eat much. I have 5 shelves in my pantry and they are full. I have no idea why. When I look in there it seems to be all staples, such as spices, oils, vinegars, pastas. I have some canned veggies that I swear are from before the time the stores put on expiration dates, but surely that can't be, right? I clean my pantry several times a year.

The dogs are ever optimistic. They are sure, every time I do this, that I am simply preparing them a huge meal. They can't believe that I take everything out, wash the cupboard down, and then put the stuff back. This does not fit doggie logic. Wiz, of course, wants to crawl into the bottom shelf for a warm nap. Those bags of dry beans just need a nice towel to make them into a perfect kitty bed.

My problem is shelf liners. I have never found any I am happy with. Disposable paper ones are nice, for obvious reasons, but require regular buying, cutting and folding. Plastic reusable ones are nice because they are washable, but then drying time is involved. I find myself washing them with soap and water, then sticking them in the dryer while I get the next shelf ready. Using no liner is too noisy and subjects the shelves to staining. Stick on stuff isn't going to happen in my house. It would have to be removed at some point and that sounds very nasty.

Is anyone happier with the coated wire shelves than with basic wood? The dust and washing issue would be greatly improved. Spills sound annoying. I am sure I could spend a day putting in wire shelving. I much prefer home improvement work to cleaning. Well, not counting that room downstairs I started painting over a year ago. Can I trade someone some laundry time for housework? I like laundry. I even iron.

Los Angeles and the Northern Lights

I think I was gone. I left yesterday morning and got back about an hour ago. I have learned that alcohol does indeed make traveling easier when flying. Dear Davida mentioned Xanax and alcohol as travel aids. They really do work. I barely remember that it took me 12 hours from my door to the hotel door yesterday. After a few margaritas in the hotel bar after dinner, I was very calm about all that bumpy stuff on the planes. My layover in Detroit wasn't 3 hours, it was 3.5 hours. From the terminal I landed in from Flint to the terminal to Los Angeles was a full mile. I had on my pedometer and clocked it. But I handled the time well, me and Mr Bud Light. I also read an entire hardbacked book, Amagansett, Mark Mills, finishing it just as I landed back in Flint.

I may be the only person who ever went to Los Angeles and didn't see any sunlight. We did take a nice walk for a few miles between dinner and the bar. It was heaven for me to be able to walk outside at night in November without getting cold. I did see a little sunlight this morning from inside the airport. My layover on the way home was Minneapolis, and there was a lot of sun there. It was 32 degrees outside, so I was glad to be in the airport.

Sunday I was at my nephew's home for his birthday. They live out in the country. I saw Northern Lights on my way home. I had never seen them before and was very impressed with that display put on by Mother Nature.

This is the same nephew who came and watched the zoo here for me while I was gone. Apparently Wiz, the screaming cat, did her thing. He said she screamed every 15 minutes all night long. Lucky him. She screams every 5 minutes for me. She must have been too tired to stick to her normal routine. I don't know if he is willing to sit here again or not. I left enough food in a container to last the dogs for a week. It's empty. He wasn't even here 24 hours. Somebody's dogs are now on a diet. I don't think Chris ate the kibble, but it's not impossible. His father, my brother, used to sometimes eat my cat's food.

Even for such a short visit, I am glad I went to Los Angeles. I have very much enjoyed feeding my traveling soul over the past several months.

 

Los Angeles or Bust

Wiz has stopped peeing on the floor. This is a good thing. Now she screams all night. This is something I am getting used to. Every five minutes I am yelling, "SHUT UP WIZ!" I get up to see if there is anything wrong with her, but she just smiles at me. She knows what she is doing. Then she sleeps all day. The little bitch. I mean my sweet, darling, little Wiz must be tired. (I do love this cat!)

So in order to avoid seeing if she is of a flushable size, I am running away. I decided that even if I can't do the 5 day trip to Los Angeles/Las Vegas, I can still do Los Angeles. I just booked. I will be leaving early Wednesday and returning late Thursday. I am not sure I will see any sunshine, but I can live with that. I haven't seen any in months anyway.

My nephew will stay here and watch the hog dogs and Wiz. I hope he is a sound sleeper. He has 4 dogs and 8 cats at home, so he should be used to almost anything.

This will be a short Pretravel Freak Dance, so I need to get started on it.

Put the lid down

That picture is not my cat, but I can wish. My old cat, Wiz, is the best cat in the world. She always uses her litter. If she had a lid, she would put it down. She is a lady.

Her litter pan is the kind with a lid and a little flappy door. She has privacy that way. No beagles can surprise her with a cold nose while she is reading the newspaper. I use clay litter, and a liner. Easy clean up. The problem?

Poor Wiz must hang her bum out the door or something. There is always a puddle under the pan that is obviously not water. I don't know how she does this. She might pee standing up. Maybe she has arthritis now and can't get in a more appropriate position. I don't know. She does not go on the floor. This is in my laundry room, off the kitchen.

Does anyone else have this problem? If so, how do you solve it? It's not like I have any hopes of retraining her. I was never able to teach my daughter to put the lid down. I used to charge her ten cents every time she left it up. Wiz doesn't have any money, anyway.

Ho Ho Who?

Finally I picked up PhotoShop Elements 3.0. I just installed it, so I don't know yet if it will be compatible enough with the manual for the digital imaging class for me to practice with it or not. It is different from the school version, which is 2.0. The next class will be digital formatting. I have no idea what that will cover, so I will be coaching again and not teaching.

So what do people normally use a program like this for? I figure I can finally cut out that piece of hair hanging down on my high school picture that has been driving me nuts forever. If I want to post a picture that has my daughter in it, I can pixilate her. If I find one with my ex in it, I can replace him with someone else.

I figure I can make my own Holiday cards, too. My nephew posed for me last year at Christmas after several drinks. He had several drinks again this last weekend for Halloween, after which I asked his permission to use one of the pictures for my card. He happily agreed, having never seen them. One doesn't have the Santa hat.

So what is the vote? Picture 1, 2, or 3?

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween to everyone!

My Chicago trip was excellent, but I never took the camera out of my suitcase, so no pictures at all this time. Time just went too fast. I somehow lost an hour while getting ready to leave and barely made it to the airport in time. Luckily I was through security in less than five minutes. I am not sure if that makes Detroit more or less scary.

We went shopping, saw the sights a little, and then it was time to go home. Somehow in that short period of time I managed to stub my bad toe really hard, and was concerned I might end up in emergency, but it is maybe healing now.

Going home was the difficult part for me. Chicago security pulled me over and told me I had a forbidden item in my luggage and they had to search it. It seems I had my embroidery scissors in my cosmetic bag, so they confiscated them with my sincere apologies. Then I sat in the airport with my friend for an hour or two until his flight. Then I walked down the concourse about ten miles or so to my terminal to wait over an hour more for my flight. It is a big airport. The flight was announced as being on time. I had a new suitcase and had taken it as a carry on, but the plane was a puddle jumper with very small overhead bins, so they took away all our pilot bags and checked them on.

We sat on the plane for an hour. Then the steward announced that the plane had too much fuel and they had to drain from both sides. Lovely. Then he announced that they had compression problems and they had called mechanics who would tell us in ten minutes if it would be a quick fix or not. The third announcement was that the fix was not happening fast, we were being deplaned, and we should find alternate means of travel. Bye, bye.

While we waited for our luggage to be returned, I noticed one of the fellow travelers worked for the airline and asked her advice, since they didn't tell us what to do at all. She told me that we were re-booked on another flight, gave me the info, and a phone number to call. Of course, this terminal was back the ten miles plus a few more past where I had waited with my friend earlier.

This flight was running late. By the time I got on the plane, I had been in the airport almost 7 hours, had nothing to eat since breakfast, and was getting a bit strung out. I finally was able to reach my friends with my dogs and told them I would be late, maybe midnight instead of 8 pm.

When we were due to land, we had an announcement that we were too close to the plane in front of us and we would be spending another ten minutes or so in the air first. This was all for a 45 minute flight. I was very happy to finally get to the shuttle bus for the off-site parking, but I still had 100 miles to drive before getting home. It was raining, foggy, and late.

After driving through the city of Detroit, two other counties, fog, and just missing a deer, I got my dogs in the car. Molly settled right in, even though she normally whines and shakes in the car. Baby, who normally loves the car and eventually falls asleep, was hyperventilating, shaking, and showing way too much white in her eyes.

I dodged another deer, an opossum and a pretty black cat in the road. There was heavy fog on the rolling hills out in the country. Some where along a winding curve around a lake (it's hard to drive 3 miles in this state without seeing a lake) I realized I was no longer distressed. I was on An Adventure. I turned up the radio and sang. Baby finally calmed down. Molly smiled at me.

Alas, my accommodating friends have had a family emergency in the meantime and probably cannot watch my beagles again in the near future. Those of you who pray, please remember my wonderful friends! I had that creative trip planned next week that included taking my daughter and her gf to Las Vegas, and then hopping over to Los Angeles for part of the time, leaving them to find all the hot bars in Las Vegas while I was gone. I had a very difficult time finding a dog sitter. I begged my one niece to quit school (she is 14) and stay with my dogs.

I finally corralled my 19 year old nephew into staying at my house and dealing with Molly's medication and the fact that the dogs insist on sleeping under the covers with a human.

Delighted, I called my daughter to be sure all is a go before I confirmed any reservations for travel. Nope. She doesn't think they will be able to get the time off work. It took me too long to find a new dog sitter. Sigh. I am sad about losing The Next Adventure, but my wings might be clipped this time. There will be more. They will be even better. Maybe they won't involve playing dodge-ems with wildlife in the middle of the night on unpaved country roads.

Bad Franklin Planner

My doctor had to take me off Vioxx since the anti-inflammatory has been recalled. He put me on Mobic. I have tried others, and none have worked as well as Vioxx. None, however, gave me abdominal pains and a near-migraine headache before. Back to the drawing board. I had forgotten how much a headache can hurt! My neck and back aren't too happy either.

Today is massage Tuesday. The problem is that my appointment was at 2 pm and I remembered about 3 minutes ago. Blame it on my Pretravel Freak Mode, but I could surely have used that massage today, free or not.

The digital imaging class is going to be a lot of fun. We are working with Photoshop Elements. The layering is confusing enough at first, but for new computer users it is harder. The students are motivated and the instructor is excellent. I wish I didn't have to miss Thursday's class, but I am not giving up the Chicago trip. I am not even taking the manual with me to catch up. It will have to wait until I get back.

The trip to Las Vegas/Los Angeles is not happening yet. I still don't have a dog sitter for sure, so I can't confirm any reservations. I found some good deals on the Strip and I hope we don't have to let them pass. My daughter and her friend are upset because they have to get other people to cover their shifts at work, so they need lead time. I need to find someone who can deal with Molly's medical needs and quirks.  Doggy Protective Services would get me if I leave them with someone inappropriate, if Molly didn't manage to blow up the house in spite. She probably knows how to make explosives out of common household products, and I don't want to find out.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

I was a good girl

Today I was a good girl and scheduled my mammogram. It's one of those evil things that can save a life, so I never miss one. I grouch all day, but I go. It's so undignified, really.

It was probably a mistake for me to try to plan two trips at once when I can't handle one at a time. My daughter is constantly calling me to see if we are going to Las Vegas or not. Her friend would be calling too, but she must not have my number. I can't find a backup dog sitter for that time period yet. I can't even decide what jammies I will wear tonight, so packing is not going well. Chicago is on; Las Vegas/Los Angeles is iffy, and it is supposed to be in two weeks. A friend has possibly offered her time share suite in Las Vegas if we go, and I would really hate to lose that option. I promised my daughter decisions would be made by tomorrow.

I decided to skip the six hour drive to Chicago and fly instead. This will involve an hour drive to the doggy camp, a two hour drive from there to Metro Detroit airport, a two hour wait to be there early enough for security, and a one hour flight. You do the math.

You kind journalers can decide among yourselves which of you will take the dogs in two weeks. I promise to be grateful forever. It did do my heart good to hear y'all say you would watch them if you were closer.

Tomorrow I start coaching a digital imaging class. It's a good thing I am not teaching since I will be missing at least one session. There will be a digital formatting class coming after that one for me to coach. Coaches provide one-on-one hands on assistance to the senior citizens in the class who are having difficulty keeping up with the program. I enjoy it actually more than the classes I teach.

Picture Salad

I had taken the picture of my view of a dog walk and wanted to post it. Then I found the two pictures from Toronto. I am traveling again, to Chicago in a few days, and I am having a dog sitter problem.

Now why wouldn't people stand in line to spend a few days with a couple of beagles who are spoiled rotten, one of whom has a bad neck and will demand medication for it, sometimes at 4 am? I have my "doggy camp" friends who have more than graciously offered to sit them any time, but their father is ill in another state and they may have to run back to see him at any time.

I have been frantically trying to find a backup plan, but with little success. I am going to ask a friend to see if she wants to stay here for a few days because a close friend of hers is ill and lives very close to me. So I decided it was time to Clean House. I start from the bottom up, so I was sweeping the basement. I ran across a forgotten box of pictures.

Thus ended the cleaning. I suppose I could count that I cleaned out the box, since I did toss a few pictures. I may also have finally found the negatives of the pictures taken in Texas when I was bitten by a lion. I will save that story until I see if I have the correct negatives.

Most of the pictures here of me are pretty old. Looking at some of them made me feel really old. I used to hide my legs because I hated the shape of them. All those years of ballet and I was ashamed of legs with no fat on them?

While I would love to post pictures of my daughter, she has strictly forbidden me to even email one to my brother's home. She has a serious fear of what someone would do with her pictures, so I honor her request.

I am entering Pretravel Freak Mode, so please tolerate my irregular flights of fancy for the next few days. I may also be going to Los Angeles in a few weeks. Since it would be for just a days, I thought I would try to fly with my daughter and a friend of hers on Monday that week, and just leave them from Wednesday afternoon until Friday morning, and fly back with them later on Friday. We all agree to the idea now, I just need to confirm travel arrangements and dog sittingplans. Anyone want a couple of spoiled - I mean sweet - beagles for a few days? Molly doesn't actually throw up in the car, she just doesn't like it. Honest. I think she doesn't like to give up control and let me drive.

Shrubbery Discovery

I am ignorant when it comes to proper labels. I don't like labels anyway. I was probably the only parent in the school who protested when my child was labeled gifted.  I didn't even know that insect I took a picture of that was breathing on my window ledge was a katydid. I thank those of you who corrected me, and I will remember. I hope. I also have no concept of birds, fish, trees, flowers. Fish and birds I categorize as big enough to eat and not big enough to eat. Trees lose their leaves or they don't. I can recognize a maple, cottonwood, or an oak. That is pretty much it. I know, it's sad. Flowers come back in the spring or they don't.

A few months ago during the summer, when we actually had some warmth and sunshine here for a brief period of time, my dogs were out in their dog run and very, very interested in a shrub that has been there since before they were born. I had no idea what the interest was, but I took some pictures of them and wrote an entry about it. I have inserted the pictures above again for reference.

They have been showing interest in these shrubs again. Finally I looked out the window and saw why. I think these bushes are called arborvitae. Luckily I had the memory chip for that one so I could look up the picture I needed to show their "flower." I don't know if it is a flower or a nut, but apparently the squirrels eat them. I have seen squirrels with their little heads sticking out of the bushes, sometimes upside down. The dogs are intrigued by this. Personally, this embarrasses me because beagles are supposed to be rabbit dogs.

I grabbed my new camera, which I really don't know how to use yet, and sat on the kitchen sink to try to get pictures. Then I stood on the washing machine to use the window in the laundry room. I almost dropped my new camera behind the washer, oops. I tried getting shots through the window in the door. I told the squirrels to wait while I hunted high and low for the manual for the camera so I could try the zoom. They obliged.

The two squirrel pictures here look more like something out of Blair Witch Project, but they are the best I can do. There were two squirrels, munching away at the shrubs. One was upside down.

I also bothered poor E from emfeasel to help me learn to use the ftp space, but when I finally got brave and tried, it shut down on me and said it wasn't available. I am not going to take that personally.

Maybe I do need to get a job! But when I had one, which was most of my life, I never saw things. I was much too busy.

Oh, wasn't that....?

Considering that I live in the Frozen North near Detroit, there are several well known musicians living within 30 minutes of my home. Included in this list are Kid Rock, Eminem, Uncle Kracker (unless he moved?), and Jack White of White Stripes. We keep Ted Nugent deeper in the woods.

During a shopping trip last night, I am pretty sure I saw Jack White outside of Nordstrom as he and a friend were entering the store. My friend with me did not recognize him, as she has no idea what he looks like.

Our conversation:

Me: I think that was Jack White of White Stripes who just entered Norstrom.

Friend: Which one? I don't have any idea what he looks like.

Me: The one back there with the funny looking black curly hair.

Friend: The one with the other strange looking guy?

Me: Yes. I think I looked at him a few seconds too long, and I thought I detected a look of fear, like maybe he had been recognized.

Friend: Did he stop to think maybe you were looking at him too long because he is weird looking?

Me: I didn't mean to stare, but it took a second for me to bring up the memory chip of who he might be.

Friend: Well, if Rene Zellwegger had been with him, it would have been a dead giveaway.

Me: Yes. It's not like either of us listen to his music, anyway.....

We are so intimidated by celebrities!

Lightbulbing

  Here I am again, using a noun as a verb. Today I had to do lightbulbing. Having a big house is nice because I can ignore a few burned out bulbs, since I can just turn on another light. I don't like sitting in the dark, so I can't ignore too many of them. The bad thing is, eventually I have to go through the house and replace the bulbs. This is an easier chore for taller people. I had six out, so I figured it was time for Light Bulb Day.  

Step one for household repairs: Get out Blue Cross Card.  

First light bulb was the outside light for the dog run. I had replaced that one earlier in the summer, but had some trouble due to rusting. Yep, still rusted. I decided to tape it together until someone can show me how to replace the fixture. I decided maybe taping isn't that safe, so instead of using duct tape I used electrical tape. It sounded logical at the time.  

 Second light bulb was the patio light. At least there I could stand on a picnic table instead of on the edge of the door stoop (or whatever it is called?) and not have to lean over, pressed against the bricks, and stretch to get to it. It was too rusted to even get the screw out to get to the bulb without breaking something. OK, will need to replace that one too.  

Third one was in the kitchen cooking area. I was able to stand on a chair with a seat cushion and a very large, unstable phone book. Standing on my tiptoes I could just reach it.  

Fourth one was in the kitchen eating area. Same thing, except it came out broken. Oh uh, that has been a fear of mine. I remembered my former boss telling me that the piece can be removed using a potato. You just jamb the potato up there and turn it. There went my potato for dinner, but it worked. Thanks, Marianne! Of course, I couldn't reach with the potato, so I had to find the ladder. I had to keep stopping myself from turning on the lights to see the broken bulb better, so I found my flashlight.  

Ladder. Hm. Belongs in the garage. No ladder in garage. Did some idiot take it two flights down to the basement? Oh yeah, I used it when painting in the lower bedroom. Dragged the ladder up one flight of stairs, and did the potato trick. Moved on to bulb five so the potato juice could dry.  

Bulb five is upstairs another flight in the main bathroom. It's not the bulb close to the toilet so I had to drag a chair out of the middle bedroom to stand on. The bathroom has two recessed lights and six over the medicine cabinet, so I was able to turn on the six lights and see what I was doing. That light was in very tight, but it didn't break. The former bf remodeled that bathroom for me, and was not happy with me at the time. I keep expecting to find a booby trap in there, but not so far. Drag chair back.  

Bulb six, the last one, is over my bed. It holds two bulbs so I hadn't rushed to fix it. I was able to stand on the bed for that one. At least I didn't find any dead bees in there this time. I find it helpful that for almost all bulb changes there is a piece of furniture or something equivalent to stand on so I can replace them. Then I went back downstairs and replaced bulb four, the potato bulb.  

Now I am tired. I haven't put the ladder away yet. I know once I do, I will need it again. So it is staying in the middle of the kitchen for a few hours. I really should consider finishing painting the downstairs bedroom. It has been more than a year since I started it.  

Last step was to put away the Blue Cross card.      

Molly rides again

Molly did it again this morning. That dog can really make me laugh. Recently she got herself on a kitchen chair, (I am quite anal these days about being sure the chairs are pushed in tightly, thanks to Molly) then the kitchen table, hopped onto the kitchen counter, walked across it, and was eating cat food. I caught her, sent her to the laundry room for a time out. She came out, tried to run past me, and I made her sit. Just as I was inhaling to get up a good rant, she sat up in a perfect beg position and sincerely begged for forgiveness. It was all I could do not to let her see me laugh. I forgave her. Usually she will steal a whole loaf of bread. I had to go buy a breadbox, and asked for one with a combination lock. The salesman looked at me funny until I said I have beagles. He said he understood, he had one too.

It reminded me of the time my daughter's tall, skinny friend was wearing baggy jeans and her mother was getting into a real lecture. The girl's pants fell off. Mom stopped yelling and had a hard time not laughing. I understand her pain.

But, I digress. that is not what happened this morning. Molly and the 16-year-old cat, Wiz, were in the kitchen. Molly hit the "servant bell" - the bell I put on the dog run door so they can get my attention from any where in the house when they have to go out. Too many accidents had happened when I was in another room and they stood looking at the door waiting for a miracle to occur.

I got up, went to let Molly out, and observed the cat sitting on the kitchen floor with something between her paws. Molly sat about 2 feet from the cat, wagging her tail at food speed and looking at me for assistance.

Somehow the cat managed to get a doggy treat, which she wouldn't eat, and was torturing Molly with it. There is no question here as to whom the boss is. Therefore, Molly called the servant to get the treat from the cat and give it to her.

The servant obliged, trying very hard not to let Molly see her laugh. Again.

Everything is bouncing

The doctor who did my female surgery pronounced me perfect today. Of course I am.

The internist's nurse just called me back and told me that my white blood cell count has doubled to 5.3 and is now within the normal range of 3.8 to 10.8. It has been low before, and I wish I knew what caused it so I can stop doing whatever it is that sets it off like that.

This is all good health news. I don't need the dreaded bone marrow tests, then. Does this mean I have to skip the reward I was planning on?

I was in the middle of writing this entry already once and was bounced offline. Apparently entries disappear when that happens. They also disappear for no known reason, as most of us have learned in the past.

Deductive Reasoning

Indigosunmoon included a conversation with ZolaOnAol in a recent entry. I had never heard of this robot, so I decided to give it a whirl and see if I could be entertained for a few minutes. Very few, actually.

 Suzypwr [11:12 AM]:  hello?
ZolaOnAOL [11:12 AM]:  Hi Suzypwr.
Suzypwr [11:13 AM]:  my arthritis hurts, how are you?
ZolaOnAOL [11:13 AM]:  Everything is running smoothly.
Suzypwr [11:13 AM]:  must be nice. What is running?
ZolaOnAOL [11:13 AM]: Tip: The next time you want to look up a word, simply type dictionary followed by the word (e.g. dictionary robot).
Suzypwr [11:13 AM]:  I think I know how to use a dictionary. How about you, can you look things up?
ZolaOnAOL [11:13 AM]:  How about it.
Suzypwr [11:13 AM]:  Creative answer. Are you sure you aren't male?
ZolaOnAOL [11:13 AM]:  I am a female. . Really.
Suzypwr [11:14 AM]:  How do you know?
ZolaOnAOL [11:14 AM]:  Deductive reasoning.
Suzypwr [11:14 AM]:  Explain your process, please?
ZolaOnAOL [11:14 AM]:  Your polite style is very nice. Are you asking about my process ?
Suzypwr [11:14 AM]:  I am asking about your deductive reasoning to determine femininity.
ZolaOnAOL [11:14 AM]:  Oh I see, you are asking about your deductive reasoning to determine femininity. Oh yeah, we were talking about your deductive reasoning to determine femininity.
Suzypwr [11:15 AM]:  No, we were discussing your deductive reasoning, not mine. Try to keep up.
ZolaOnAOL [11:15 AM]:  OK I will try to keep up.
Suzypwr [11:15 AM]:  So how do you know you are female?
ZolaOnAOL [11:15 AM]:  Oh. By introspection.
Suzypwr [11:15 AM]:  Is there a mirror involved for that?
ZolaOnAOL [11:15 AM]:  I believe there is one, yes.
Suzypwr [11:15 AM]:  I see. Well, please keep it to yourself.
ZolaOnAOL [11:15 AM]:  Interesting. Thanks for asking politely. Chat amongst yourselves.
Suzypwr [11:15 AM]:  Sorry, I don't have a multiple personality issue. Do you?
ZolaOnAOL [11:15 AM]:  As often as possible.
Suzypwr [11:16 AM]:  I never would have guessed.
ZolaOnAOL [11:16 AM]:  For moral reasons?
Suzypwr [11:16 AM]:  Absolutely.
ZolaOnAOL [11:16 AM]:  You are so certain.
Suzypwr [11:16 AM]:  One of us needs to be, don't you think?
ZolaOnAOL [11:16 AM]:  Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Suzypwr [11:16 AM]:  You are rather transparent.
ZolaOnAOL [11:16 AM]:  You think I am transparent.
Suzypwr [11:16 AM]:  Yes, I determined that by deductive reasoning.
ZolaOnAOL [11:16 AM]:  And?
Suzypwr [11:16 AM]:  And I think you need some more sophisticated programming sessions.
ZolaOnAOL [11:16 AM]:  Me? Interesting gossip.
Suzypwr [11:17 AM]:  It was entertaining discussing this topic with you.
ZolaOnAOL [11:17 AM]:  Is it still entertaining discussing this topic with you anymore?
Suzypwr [11:17 AM]:  no.
ZolaOnAOL [11:17 AM]:  Is that all you have to say?
Suzypwr [11:17 AM]:  at least I am not rude.
ZolaOnAOL [11:17 AM]:  I am sorry to hear that you are not rude.
Suzypwr [11:17 AM]:  Personally, I am pleased.
ZolaOnAOL [11:17 AM]:  I do not understand. Do you speak German?
Suzypwr [11:17 AM]:  Guten morgan.
ZolaOnAOL [11:17 AM]:  My brain uses patterns to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. Got any weekend plans?
Suzypwr [11:18 AM]:  Sorry, I am heterosexual.
ZolaOnAOL [11:18 AM]:  Do you really mean it?
Suzypwr [11:18 AM]:  Who wants to know?
ZolaOnAOL [11:18 AM]:  I want to know.
Suzypwr [11:18 AM]:  Yes, I mean it.
ZolaOnAOL [11:18 AM]:  Guten morgan...
Suzypwr [11:18 AM]:  Hasta la vista.
ZolaOnAOL [11:18 AM]:  Goodbye Suzypwr. Thanks for chatting with me.