Meteorite

It seems that we have a meteorite from the moon that has a new mineral, one that does not exist on earth. It is an iron-silicone mineral. My training is in social sciences and management, so I guess I need some help with this concept regarding physical science.

 

How is it that a chunk of the moon came to land on earth? Do chunks of that moon of ours just pop off and fly into space? I thought gravity took care of issues like that. Do chunks of earth go flying off into space when we are not looking? Do I have to really keep a careful eye on my dogs outside so they don’t turn into comets?

 

This chunk came here as a meteorite from the moon. I just don’t get it. I understand what a meteorite is, but I never heard before of one coming from the moon unless an astronaut picked it up off the moon while on a field trip there. But this one came through our atmosphere and did not completely burn out, so can someone help me out with this?

 

I wonder how long it will be before someone puts a piece of that new mineral together with a chunk of gold and makes a piece of very expensive jewelry?

More embarrassing moments

More Embarrassing Moments

 

My tired little brain has been digging into its dusty old files and throwing more embarrassing moments at me. There seems no end to the list!

 

I went home from work one day for lunch and returned after just over an hour or so. A co-worker looked at my wrists, and laughed. She then looked me in the eyes and asked me how I got the bruises. I didn’t know they were there and I just sat there and turned red. I have yet to hear the end of that one.

 

One morning very early my former dog, Maggie, the best dog in the world, got me up early making doggie horking sounds. I had slept nude that night. I jumped up, grabbed the first article of clothing, which was a pink sock. I put that on, and grabbed the other sock. She made a fast dash for the door, so ran down the stairs and through the kitchen, wearing one sock and carrying one. I opened the door, and had to lean out a little to open the screen to release a dog running like her insides were about to spew. She knew ladies don’t hork on the carpet. My neighbor was outside, sitting on the back of his pickup, having a cup of coffee. I clutched my sock and shut the door. That man was outside come snow or rain every morning before 6 AM for about a year after that.

 

Both of my parents died from smoking related illnesses. They were ill for long periods of time and it was very ugly. I am anti-smoking. I railed on my daughter for years to never start because it is the hardest addiction in the world to kick. She and I were both taking classes at the same community college. My home computer was acting up and I needed to rewrite a program, so I ran into the school at lunch (no ropes involved) and some stupid little teenager tossed a lit cigarette behind her after exhaling, with the butt almost hitting my face and the smoke choking me. I was furious at the rudeness of the girl. I looked up to make a comment and saw it was my daughter.

 

This one didn’t directly happen to me. I was babysitting my niece and nephew. My ex-husband was with me. We weren’t married yet; he was only 17 at the time. He went to get us some lunch at McDonald’s. He was not very comfortable with children, but when my 3-year-old niece begged to go along he took her. While standing in a long line, she suddenly burst out, quite loudly, with “Look, Uncle Jimmy! Look at the fat lady!! Is she in the circus?”  Just to be sure everyone knew whom she was with, she wrapped her arms around his legs and gave him a big hug.

 

Someone pays my daughter to embarrass me. We went on a Caribbean cruise when she was about 12 years old. Who wears a bra all the time in that kind of heat?  We had a nice room with a good-sized porthole, more of a window. It was nice, because no one could be on the other side except another ship far in the distance, so we left the shades open all the time. We went to breakfast, and decided to hurry up and go to the pool, so we had to change fast. I ran in first, undoing my shirt and tossing it aside to grab my bathing suit. I assumed she would shut the door.

 

Yes, it is true, I turned around and the door was still open and someone was standing there. However, I didn’t turn around until after I realized why it was a little darker than normal in the room. Apparently the crew was testing the lifeboats and was dropping them down the outside of the ship, with one right outside my window, full of men looking in. That was why I had turned around to face the door.

 

One more.  Remember the nice young man who embarrassed me in the car rental office? We then drove the car more than 15 hours to Key West to a campground. It was well past midnight and we were tired. The campground was small, but we didn’t realize how small. We had a little 2-man tent that we erected quickly. My partner was rather vocal that evening. In the morning, I woke up, crawled out of the tent, and found a tent full of young British women about 5 feet away giving me the evil eye. Once again, I just smiled.

Embarassing moments I tried to forget

                     Embarrassing Moments

 

We all have some embarrassing moments in our past that we can’t ever forget, even though we try hard. Some are just small things, like toilet paper stuck to the bottom of our shoes. Some are more eventful, like that poor woman whose picture has been around the internet several times. She reached for the bridal bouquet but her strapless dress didn’t budge.

 

When my daughter was about 3, she already showed signs of being clever and outgoing. She always burped after drinking soda, and we used to joke that she would not be able to drink soda on a date when she got older. We were shopping at a local mall, and she had soda with lunch. We were strolling the mall, it was very quiet, and she suddenly let out a tremendously loud belch. No one would believe such a tiny, skinny little girl would let out such a sound – especially after she looked at me and said, Mom! What do you say?” Everyone stared at me. What was I do to, point my finger at the cute little child and blame her?

 

I once had to make an emergency home visit on a Halloween night. Since I was on my way to my boyfriend’s house for the weekend, I had to take the puppy with me. I planned to leave her (I only had the one then) in the car. After the truck-driving women in the trailer park pointed my way to the intended home, I got out of the car. They were expecting me, and came out to greet me. They saw the baby beagle and insisted I take her in with me. I took little Molly in to discuss the possible physical abuse of their daughter by her father, who didn’t live in the home. After about 15 minutes, Molly horked up on the floor. Not very professional, but the family was kind about it.

 

Once before taking a road trip to Key West my bf of that time and I went to rent a car. We lived in different states and had not seen each other for a while. He was very affectionate and was fondling my backside while we discussed the terms for the car. The counter was very high so I wasn’t concerned the employee could see anything. He had an amused smirk on his face, though. I heard a loud noise outside and turned around. There was a large plate glass window behind me and he could see us in reflection. I just smiled.

 

Once the daughter and I were in line at the bank. She was just learning to be potty trained. She was nice and quiet for a few minutes. Then she said she had to go potty. I was almost to the window and they were to close soon, so I asked if she could wait a minute. She said yes, then was quiet again. I asked her if she still needed to go. She said no. A little later, I said, “What is that smell, child?” “I don’t know.” At least she didn't blame me.

 

I know there are more embarrassing moments in my life. I will write about them as I recall them. Now you are remembering yours, right?

I will be there

I have confessed that I don’t do everything as timely as I used to. However, when I go some place, I get there on time or a little early. That habit was beaten into me as a child and I will never be late unless there is a typhoon in my path.

 

However, I have friends who don’t dance to the same clock, so to speak. To protect the innocent, I will call my friend Amy. When I meet Amy, which is often, we go through a whole time dance. “What time do you want to meet?” I will ask. “Oh, 6:15, 6:30,” she will respond. Now this confuses me. What time is that? A range? Does that mean I should be there at 6:15, 6:30, or right in the middle? So I ask what that means. She says oh, you know, somewhere in there...and I just don’t get it. I suggest she pick one, 6:15 or 6:30. I have already learned to let her pick the time and hope that will help. She will then get testy with me and say she isn’t sure if she can make it by 6:15 or not, but she will try, and if she can’t, she hopes to be there by 6:30. With a sigh, I give up and wait for her from 6:15 to maybe 7.

 

Luckily this friend is a wonderful friend whom I would trust with my wallet. She is a great friend who can’t tell time and doesn’t see any reason why she should. After all, it is no problem for her. She is just on “Amy time.” I have asked if the scheduled time is on real time or Amy time before. It’s good for a laugh at least.

 

Being late is a common trait of passive aggressive personalities. Personally I think they feel their time is more important than mine, hence their willingness to let me sit and wait for them knowing I will be there at the stated time. They assure me that they don’t disregard the value of my time. We discuss this the day after our meeting time, since I gave up after 45 minutes and went home.

 

My solution to this is to have added the Internet to my cell phone. I can play games or read the news and weather while I wait. For some reason I just can’t go at 6:45 when I said I would be there at 6:15. There is no time game for me. I suppose I could tell Amy 5:45, but then what if she shows up on “time?” Arrggh. I can’t ask her to wait for me.

 

Just don’t try to convince me that people who are always late don’t have some control issues.

I will do it later......

Procrastination

 

I kept meaning to write about procrastinating, but I have been putting it off. I used to be the type of person who had everything done on time or sooner. My Christmas cards were written out and ready to go by December 1 every year. Bills were paid the day they came in the mail. Gift were bought well in advance of events and wrapped and waiting for the big day. Taxes were done on February 1. The entire house was cleaned on Saturday mornings while the laundry was done. No deadlines were missed at work and sometimes things were done early “just in case.”

 

Things changed. Christmas cards usually make it out before Christmas. Gifts are bought on the way to events and instead of being wrapped I use gift bags. Studying is done by cramming at the last minute. Taxes are done when my CPA starts nagging. Cleaning gets done when I am in the mood and not all at once. Laundry I still do regularly. I don’t mind laundry.

 

At work, well, things really had changed for me. I learned after a few years that to do things early or always on time meant getting “gifts” from other caseloads. Hey, we need you to help so-and-so catch up. Yes, she had the same amount of time you had to do it but we need you to do your work and hers. Why yes, she does get the same pay as you do. Why do you ask? What do you mean, you don’t want to redo these 100 cases that someone else did wrong? Isn’t your work already done? While you are at it, will you go see these 50 people to see how they are doing at home, and finish up their paperwork? I also have some phone calls for you to do for me.

 

I think maybe it was work that made me slow down my pace in the rest of my life. I lost the drive to get everything done on time. I didn’t want to feel guilty for having free time. It seemed the more I did, the more I found to do. I was exhausted and crabby. Well, that wasn’t much of a change. But I learned to slow down and get things done as I was able, and not to stress about it. I learned to walk away from chores and have fun once in awhile.

 

I hope no one ever told my mom.

My 25 Things

25 Things About Me

You either didn’t know or don’t want to know…

 

1. I am terrified of anything that resembles a bee, hornet or wasp.  2. Twice I have dated men 18 years younger than I am.  3. I have lived in Michigan all my life and would love to never see snow again in my life.  4. I was 45 when I decided to get my master’s degree since I never finished the one I started at 25. I had to start from scratch.  5. I use having had skin cancer as an excuse for not doing my yard work.  6. I have about 200 pairs of socks. I won’t throw them out unless they get holes in them.  7. I love thunderstorms so much I used to make my old dog sit on the front porch with me and watch them. The nastier the better.  8. Every time the sun comes out during or right after a rain I run outside to see the rainbow. I love double rainbows but have only seen one snowbow.  9. I used to calmly interview children regarding abuse and then pull my car over after leaving and sit in a parking lot and cry.  10. I want to sky dive but can’t justify jumping out of a perfectly good plane.  11. I want to live in the woods but I want city water.  12. I love cruises because I never have to decide where to go to dinner and no one has to worry about driving after drinking, plus they bring a new island to you every morning.  13. I think coffee smells really, really bad.  14. I live in Michigan and have maybe seen two of the Great Lakes.  15. Canada is south of me. (I am north of Detroit, which is north of Windsor, Ontario)  16. I was originally a math major in college.  17. I saw the Beatles and the Rolling Stones perform live.  18. I love vampire stories and lore.  19. Every time I go to California I secretly hope for a nice, small earthquake.  20. When I visit people’s homes and they leave the television on, I feel I should leave so they can enjoy whatever it is they feel a need to watch.  21. I have terrible, terrible nightmares.  22. I have no filing system but can find any paper within a few minutes.  23. I have never really understood what a gasket is.  24. It bothers me that I have no major skill.  25. After I retired I read a whole book every day for a few months.

Three Dog Nights

Three Dog Night

 

I now know what a real three dog night is. I was dog sitting over the holiday week and had a third beagle here. She is an adorable little lemon beagle, ready to sniff and smile at everything. Luckily she accepted her position in the house. My two beagles are dominant, but the cat runs the house.

 

Last weekend I had two nieces here. It was quite a difference. All of them wanted to be fed and have a place to sleep. The nieces went to a separate bedroom after I had made up the trundles for them. The dogs all jumped in bed when I did and crawled under the covers with me.

 

Sleeping with dogs under the covers is actually easier than sleeping with dogs on top of the covers because they don’t pin me down. However, the heat level rises fast. I have saved a lot on my heating bills since I got beagles. I turn the heat down to 60 degrees at night, while I formerly left it at 72 and was still cold. It is like sleeping with little furnaces. Little furry furnaces. Very cuddly little furry furnaces.

 

It’s OK if they sleep with their backs to me. But it isn’t much fun to wake up with a dog stretching her claws into my back or stomach. Dog breath I can deal with; I was married. They don’t even shed much more than my ex-husband. They sleep like the dead so don’t bark at every little thing outside. I figure if they aren’t concerned about a noise, neither am I.

 

But the nieces played games with me and went out to eat with me. They told me stories about school and their friends and family. They told me some of their dreams and goals. We laughed a lot. I learned from them.

 

 The dogs can’t eat out because they don’t wear shoes or shirts. They do love the drive-thru restaurants though. They try to get the bags of food before I do. The Dairy Queen is their favorite because they get their own little doggie cups free with my order. I can buy their treats with the money I save on heating costs. They aren’t too good with board games because they eat the pieces. They don’t talk much, but they are great listeners.

 

I think a great weekend would be to have them all here. I have never decided if dogs need kids more or if kids need dogs. Either way, everyone is happy.

 

 

Lisa's Law

Just a few months before I retired from my job as a social worker, I got involved with a family that will stick with me forever. The referral came to be as a rather common one. A high school girl had a black eye and swollen lip. She alleged her dad did it. It was late in the day so I hurriedly grabbed my “shadow,” a new worker who followed along to learn the trade. We ran to the school and met with the girl.

 

She was terrified. She was not terrified of me. Her eye was black, her lip was bruised blue on the inside, and her nose was swollen and bruised. She told me that she had talked to PS workers before in the past and that no one had been able to help. She admitted to a history of hurting herself. Luckily it was warm that day and she had on a sleeveless top and showed me her arms, which had no marks at all.

 

Since school was about to release and I still had to interview her sister, I told her that I might have to remove her from the house. I expected a tirade about how he didn’t mean it, that she didn’t want to be away from her friends just as school started, and that it really was no big deal and that I should just leave her alone. She was in some special classes and was worried about her homework. She hoped wherever I took her that she could keep up with school. We called for the school police liaison officer to take a report while the shadow and I went to speak to the sister.

 

Cramped in the police liaison’s office, the shadow listened while I asked the second girl, I will call her Lisa, if she had seen anything unusual at home lately. She said her father had hit her sister the night before and that it had happened in the past. She quietly denied any abuse to herself. That day was her first or second day of high school, an important time in a girl’s life. I told her I might need to remove her from the home. She said, “OK.” Quietly. Red flags popped up in my mind, but the school bell went off and I had to get her back with her sister and let the officer take them to the station for pictures of the older girl. Medical exams later proved her nose to be broken.

 

The police refused to arrest or even go to talk the father. They said the injury was too old and the girl waited too long to report. At that point, the injury was less than 24 hours old and she had reported it as soon as she was out of the house. Eventually the father was arrested for sexual abuse of Lisa. She disclosed the sexual abuse when she realized her sister might be removed from the home and she might get stuck getting raped and being beaten also. The children, three in all, were removed that same night and taken to a shelter. They have never been back to the home and never will.

 

The father was their adoptive father. He had been arrested and convicted of a sexual crime and served a long sentence before he was released and allowed to adopt. The courts were aware of the previous crime. Apparently he was allowed to adopt after going through counseling, plus the previous crime was not against a child.

 

These special girls had to go through numerous legal hearings and trials. I can only imagine that the medical exams were bad enough. They were tough, strong, honest and slightly impatient to get the ordeal over. It went on over a year. They are now in a very wonderful foster home and the father is in jail for at least 45 years. The last thing Lisa said on the stand was “I respectfully request that my father be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.” She was not even old enough to drive.

 

There is a new law in our state saying that an adult who has been convicted of a sexual crime cannot adopt a child. I think of it as Lisa’s Law.

Save me!

Wow! 155 deaths from Ephedra! So they are going to pull it off the market and not allow us free Americans to choose to misuse or abuse the herbal supplement. Once again we need to be saved from ourselves. Of course, if you take the supplement at the appropriate dose, you don’t have much to fear. It helped many overweight Americans drop some pounds. After all, we do have a fat epidemic, right? The Great Fat Epidemic of 2004?

 

So, tell me. What is the appropriate dose of nicotine? How many deaths have we had from that herbal supplement? Oh, many more than 155, you say? Including both of my parents? But why aren’t they saving my daughter and her generation from killing themselves? Surely it must have some medical application then, or they would save us from ourselves, right? Can’t think of any?

 

Some people think that nicotine calms them. I suppose it does, the same as a junkie gets calmed when a dose of heroin is administered. If the person weren’t addicted to nicotine, the person wouldn’t become jittery from withdrawal.

 

How many deaths have we had related to alcohol? I haven’t seen any need for Ephedra Anonymous. My medical insurance carrier does not offer Ephedra cessation coverage. I haven’t heard of any middle school kids getting busted for afternoon Ephedra parties. I haven’t heard that usage of Ephedra leads to rampant sexual orgies among grade schoolers.

 

I can go to the local drug store and ask the pharmacist for cough syrup with codeine, no prescription needed. I can buy caustic chemicals, lye, nicotine, alcohol, rubbing alcohol that would surely blind me if I drank it, Crazy Glue that would cause severe damage if I glued any body parts together, laxatives, emetics that could cause severe esophageal damage if used regularly. I can buy diet drugs that don’t work but if taken in large amounts can cause seizures, I can buy Benadryl that will make me too sleepy to drive. I can even buy bleach and ammonia that if mixed together can clear out my neighborhood pretty fast. But I won’t be able to go buy Ephedra.

 

I guess this has nothing to do with the alcohol and nicotine lobbyists. I sure do feel safe now. Happy Easter!

Big decision!

I hope I don’t regret this decision. After all, I have my cell phone and land line bills to pay. I have cable television (that I don’t watch) and a cable line for my wi-fi laptop computer. I have a new car and I did end up getting a cute little Prada handbag. My back yard needs to be fenced in. I have a master’s degree in business that I never used, since my field was Children’s Protective Services.

 

I have accepted a job. I will be doing financial planning. It sounds to me a lot like social work. Go out, talk to people, point out the error of their ways, and help them make a new plan to protect their families. Just now, I won’t have a judge to enforce my decisions. Plus I will get paid by the case rather than the same as everyone else.

 

While I do not miss getting up at the butt crack of dawn and hitting the icy streets of grid locked traffic, I do miss the fun of getting dressed up every day and being around other adults and going out to lunch. Now I spend a good portion of my time with beagles and a cat that sleeps 20 hours a day. In fact, this week I have 3 beagles since I am puppy sitting for the most adorable little bitch I have ever seen.

 

So I will try to earn enough income to finance some home projects and hopefully some exotic vacations. A government pension really doesn’t go far enough. I am too young to be idle. Hey, if I don’t like it I will quit and try something else. I am actually excited about it. My first private sector job since I was working on my bachelor’s degree!First, I have to inhale and absorb a few thousand pages so I can sit for a licensing exam.

 

Once again I can get the most wonderful feeling in the world. That is to come home at night after a long day’s work and remove my bra. Nothing feels better than that!

Wipe it up!

Women can be real pigs. If I had a dime for every time I had to rush into a public bathroom and found a urine soaked toilet seat I would be financially set for life. Men simply would not believe that the same woman who goes ballistic if they use the wrong hand towel to dry their hands waves her bum in the air in a public stall and pees all over the seat and floor.

 

Women will pee on the seat, dribble urine onto the floor, smear blood on the walls, leave sanitary products on the floor, decline the flush option, splash water on the floors, walls and mirrors, drape toilet paper around the room, fling slippery liquid soap on the floors, and write on the walls in lipstick.

 

The bathrooms are thoughtfully equipped with paper seat covers. The toilets generally function properly and will flush with a flick of the wrist or gentle tap with a shoe. Most bathrooms are clean to begin with. Soap is in dispensers. Towels are in towel holders. Electric hand dryers are often provided.

 

These same women will spend hours telling little boys that they must aim very carefully with their little wee-wees and never, ever get any drips or dribbles on the seat lest mommy be offended. They are taught to lift the seat to avoid any improper wetness like little gentlemen.

 

I have been known to loudly announce the condition of a stall if the offender is still in the bathroom. “Oh, dear, someone forgot to flush. Eww, they did THAT and didn’t use any toilet paper?” “Oh, geez, someone peed all over this seat and left a nasty mess!” “Oh, wow, how hard is it to wipe up after yourself?”

 

I have seen women drying their slacks or skirts with the hand dryers because they actually peed all over their clothes in an attempt to avoid sitting on a sanitary paper seat cover.

 

My next plan of action is to make up some sticky little cards that I can slap on their backs on the way out of the bathrooms. They will say “I don’t wipe or flush, but I do pee all over the seat!”

  

Come on, ladies. Let’s remember what we teach little boys. If you aren’t going to sit down and use the paper seat covers, lift the damn seat up and be kind to the people who must use that stall after you. Do you pee on the seat in your own home, too?

Kids! You just can't beat them!

My grandnieces just spent the weekend with me. They are 14 and 9. Their mother and her siblings used to stay with me too sometimes. There seems to be something about staying with Aunt Susan that appeals to these kids. I keep trying to guess what it is.

Sure, I have two dogs. I have always had at least one. I also have the one old cat who runs the household. But I don't allow toys that use batteries. I don't turn on the television for months on end. No, not at all. Not for noise or anything else. I cherish quiet. In fact, it's so quiet here that I can hear the kids talk to me. I listen to them, and I answer them.

Last night we played the board game Life. I took the college route, bought insurance, paid off my bills, bought stock, and won. When they played after that, they took the college route. Even the 9 year old started buying homeowner's insurance. I doubt she would have learned better lessons watching MTV.

So it's my guess they come here to talk and learn and get individual attention. But maybe it's the dogs. The younger beagle, Baby, is learning to howl on command and it's a lot of fun.

Phone Bills

I just noticed that my phone bill is $29.95 a month. I stripped it down since I mostly use my cell phone. I am not sure why I need a land line at all, really, but I haven't canceled it yet.

I also noticed that the actual pay amount is $42.74. The word "usury" comes to mind. Everyone gets a piece of my check. There is a federal access line charge, which is $5.35, and a state access line charge of $2.78. I pay $8.13 just to have the line available to me. That is more than my old phone bills used to total up to! Then I have two 911 fee assessments and a federal universal service fee adding to $1.32. I have never used 911, but I am glad it's available. If I didn't have a phone, it would still be available, I just wouldn't have to pay for it? In addition I see regular taxes. Federal at 3% and state at 6% adds another $3.34 to the total. They sneak in a dollar here and a dollar there and jack up a $29.95 service to $42.74 for a phone I rarely use!

Hmm, I also see an ATT&T long distance access charge of $8.34 every month for long distance that I do not use since it is free on my cell phone.

Don't even get me started on how much it costs to call information for a phone number!