Another boo-boo

I could start out saying that I don't like to whine, but maybe I secretly do. I think I have just had an unfortunate series of events going on. While I am not one to write more than one entry a day, or lately more than one a week, this information didn't belong in that last entry.

Tomorrow morning around 11:15 I want you guys to think of me and help me get to my Happy Place. You know, the one you can get to in your mind so you don't feel pain? If no one ever taught you that, you should work on it. It does come in handy at times. What is going on tomorrow morning, you ask?

Let's start with the back story on this. Only I can make a trip to the oral surgeon make you laugh. It will make you laugh. It really will.

Some time around November I did something that I can't even remember any more and I rewarded myself with a caramel apple. I got a really nice one with crushed peanuts on it. You know the kind? Large firm apple, dipped in gooey caramel, then rolled in crushed peanuts? All that delicious tart apple flavor mixed with the sweet of the caramel amid the salt of the nuts - one of my favorite treats! The difficulty is, my mouth is very small. I have to use a child's toothbrush, even. I find it very hard to get a grip on the apple for the first bite. Yeah, yeah, I could just cut it up, but it's not the same as eating it right off the stick, is it?

I decided to try a new tactic and go for a strong, deep bite at the bottom of the apple where it's smaller, figuring that the stick might help hold it in place for me to get that first wonderful bite.

This is where the problem came in.

The sticks are shoved into the apple via the pointed end of the stick. That leaves the pointed end of the wooden stick at the bottom of the apple. You have the picture now, don't you? I bit very hard, and then the pointed end of the stick went into my gum. All the way through my gum, in fact, to the tooth. If you are wondering, yes that hurt. A lot.

It didn't stop me from eating the apple once the bleeding let up, though. I earned that treat and I wanted it! I expected the gum to heal up and it would be my own little secret. Well, by my advanced age gums tend torecede a bit. Mine have, a bit. One tooth had the gum receded enough that my dentist had suggested I could go see a gum guy to have it lifted. My teeth are also extremely sensitve, so anything newly exposed isn't comfy. I put off the visit for a year. I probably still would be putting it off, to tell the truth. I don't like dental work although I go religiously every 6 months and get done whatever needs to be done. I do this even though sometimes my teeth don't freeze for dental work. Sensitve + not frozen = not pleasant.

So, did I go see my dentist about the gum injury? Nope. I didn't tell anyone. No one. My logic was that it would need to heal before anyone would work on it anyway. It finally sort of healed, but it left a hole in my gum, meaning further recession. It's still very, very tender. I saw the dentist a few weeks ago for my regular 6-month check up and then my little secret wasn't a secret.

I had to confess that I bit into a caramel apple and the pointed end of the stick jammed right through my gum to my tooth. Once we all stopped laughing, I was ordered to see a gum guy. This time, I did.

I am not laughing now. He is a nice young man with a decidedly Polish name. I asked why gums, he said he thought filling teeth forever would be boring. Hey, you should have heard the conversation I had with the guy who did my colonoscopy. I am too curious sometimes for my own good.

So, he explained what needs to be done. He can't just lift my gum. If I don't do something, I will lose at least one tooth. His game plan is to cut a piece of tissue from the roof of my mouth and transplant it, giving me a new gum line. While I was fascinated by this ability of his, my brain was screaming, "Roof of the mouth! SHOTS in the roof of the mouth!" So I asked, do I need a shot in the roof of my mouth for this?

Yes. I do.

Can't I get general anesthesia? Nope. Can I get gas? Yep. It won't do it for me, though. I have had the shot in the roof of my mouth at least 5 times. It's much like sticking a needle into bone, because that tissue is very hard. For me, it's highly painful. He will put goop on first to slightly numb it, blah, blah, blah, but no matter what he says, I will hurt.

He said I can take 5 mg Valium first, if I have a driver. Child is in school tomorrow morning. I will have to either forgo the Valium, or take a Xanax. He didn't say I need a driver if I take a Xanax, so technically I would not be non-compliant. I am considering my need for any pre-medication.

I haven't been to my happy place for a while. Maybe I need to go there before Las Vegas. Oh, that trip, you wonder - how is this going to affect it? My stitches come out of both my palate and my gums two days before I leave.

Let's also hope for not much swelling and no complications are allowed!

Preview: Monday - the hand surgeon for my damaged finger. Oh yes, indeedy, I am dealing with three damaged body parts at once! Let's not forget the feet.

How did I damage a finger, you wonder? I was walking from my bedroom to my living room maybe a month or so ago and my hand hit hard on the edge of a wall or molding. It hurt like hell, but I shook it off so I could continue with whatever chore had my limited attention. Two weeks ago, I showed it to my internist. "I think I broke my finger."

He said, "I think you did too. You need to see a hand guy."

It goes downhill from there. We can finish that story after I see the hand guy.

 

 

You guys should be embarrassed

Listen up, people. I am sitting here, past the age of 50. OK, past the age of 55 even. I am too young for social security but old enough to stay inside when it's raining (unless I don't feel like it). I confessed openly to having no knowledge or experience with iPods. I didn't ask someone to do it for me, I asked for advice so I can learn to do it myself. I am stubborn and determined.

I eagerly awaited comments with hints and details from all of you who are younger than I am. I expected some great step-by-step directions and hints on what to do and what not to do. Everyone wrote that they depend on someone else to do it or they don't really understand what they are doing. Lori offered much help, but you guys didn't know that, did you? You just left me hanging here with an iPod and a confused expression.

So who finally gives me some directions? Someone who is new to my journal, as far as I know, and who has a few years on me, even. How embarrassing is that for you guys? Shame, shame!

I confess I spent at least 12 hours making this new toy my bitch. It came to me used - there were no directions and the friend who sent it to me had no words of wisdom. She had only uploaded one CD she owns. Well, that is nice if you own CDs, but buying music and movies have not been on my budget since I gave birth. That was in 1980.

So, I patiently sat down and had a talk with this thingie. It's hot pink, by the way. Not my first choice, but at least I can find it. I have to stick it in a drawer at night so I can sleep. It's bright. I pushed the buttons, twirled the wheel, and found games. I played solitaire to get my hands used to the wheel, much as we played solitaire on PCs years ago to learn to be adept with a mouse. Take that, iPod! That game has very tiny, tiny, cute little cards.

I downloaded software to get music. I found songs I like, and put them on a playlist. I transfered them over to iTunes, which I had also downloaded. I moved them onto the iPod. It wasn't a smooth learning curve, but at least I am not dependent on some 7-year-old down the street.

Nope. I am dependent on some 30 year old downthe street. He lives with his parents, and his dad works for Apple. The son, let's call him J, loves music. I ran into his mom when I was walking the dogs and she saw I had ear buds on. I explained that I had just gotten my very first iPod and had finally learned to put songs on. She told me her husband had recently started a second job at Apple. Who knew? She said she would talk to her son for me, as she knew he had a lot of music and my tastes were closer to his than hers. WAY closer.

She called me later that evening to tell me I was invited to search his playlist to see if i wanted to borrow any music. I jumped on that offer and ran down the street in the rain. Well, I walked. The foot isn't conducive to running quite yet. But I wanted to run, yes I did!

I was shown a monitor and keyboard and mouse, wireless, on an apple computer and saw just under 5000 songs to scan. !!!! I said, and started scrolling. I grabbed maybe 25-30 songs off that list. J put them on a disk for me, and I will doing the process to move them onto my iPod. Myself. All by myself. I have no experience with a mac, but I was shown how to navigate adequately for what I needed.

Meanwhile, the iPod will have at least 100 songs on it by tomorrow, just in time to hand it over to the Demonchild on Friday. She will hand me the classic iPod she doesn't use and I will get movie capability. Then I can move the songs I have onto the new iPod, and start all over. After that, I stretch my learning curve to include movies. I don't own any movies.

Wish me luck. I can't ask you guys for help on this one if you can't even do a song, can I? I also might want a couple of games beyond the original ones it comes with. I don't play computer games, so it will all be new to me. I am very excited!

Come on, people, it's not that hard. Don't let those gradeschoolers take over! If I can do it, you can do it too! I appreciate the sympathy I received from all of you, but I detected a hint of fear of the process from most of you. Y'all scurried for cover, didn't you?

Oh, I have to go now. I must learn to put on photos before I can let the child have this one.

Yes, the child and I do pretty much like the same music. Go figure.

Did you know that Traci Lords sings, too?

 

 

 

 

 

More iStuff

A friend of mine said she had an iPod nano she didn't want, so she sent it to me. I told child it was coming, and she said she wanted to long term temporarily trade with me for her iPod classic that does movies. Using both will help me learn to understand this whole new universe for me.

I am asking for any hints, tips, information, tech stuff, anything you guys can offer on iPods. Consider me a total greenhorn who can learn tech stuff pretty fast and will be able to understand most of the technical information. It is all new to me, even as a concept. I am not sure I like the idea of iTunes.

I would like to be comfy with using the movie feature by the time I go to Las Vegas in a few weeks. I see that now I can rent movies from iTunes, but only for 24 hours. That seems a little harsh to me, since I won't be taking my computer but I will be gone more than 24 hours. So how do I get more movies for the return flight? Hm.

All advice will be cheerfully accepted and read and studied!

 

Just a little off

It hasn't been above or even close to freezing lately. That means it has been cold enough to freeze snot here for at least a week. This is the kind of weather that really ushers up freaky cases of cabin fever. My dogs come in hobbled because they have ice or salt stuck between their toes. I get snow and ice packed inside my shoes trying to get them walked far enough in the mornings so they can find just the Right Spot.

Any human with a dog knows that there is just the Right Spot for each poop, but no human has ever figured out what the Doggy Guidelines and Logistics are for a Right Spot. If you forget your senses and disrupt a dog almost in a squat, the Search for the Right Spot begins anew from sniff one.

I already tried once to escape this perma-frosted land. I hustled my buns down to Florida, where it's never cold. It was cold while I was there. It was far better than here, but my ice-rimed body did not thaw long enough.

So, it only stands to reason that I need to get out of this location for at least a little bit. Off of this ice. A little off. I am headed out west, but not to Arizona this time. I am going to Las Vegas, but only for a weekend.

How long has it been since it snowed in Las Vegas? Want to make any bets as to when the next time will be?

Know any good dog sitters?

 

 

I can do that

Today I saw my foot doctor. He and I have quite a history now. Originally I went to him because "my right foot hurts and feels a lot like my hands with carpal tunnel when I tap my foot. Don't even thing about tapping it...." Almost 2 years later, I woke up out of anesthesia to hear him say, "Wow! I never saw anything like that before!" - my response being, "Just knock me back out."

That was around 2000. I walked without pain eventually and often. As we know, I developed pain again in both feet. The right foot is doing pretty well. I can sum that up pretty well as meaning I never get the urge any more to cut that one off.

The left foot, well, that one is a stubborn little bitch. I can relate to the sentiment, but I am tired of dragging it along with me all the time.

Today the doctor repeated to me the choices of getting new and custom orthotics, wearing the cast 8 hours a day, and continuing with physical therapy OR getting my Achilles' tendon sliced. Once again, it was a no-brainer. I sure hope my insurance company decides they cover custom orthotics because they don't cover the other ones. I am sticking with the program because I have had some progress. The tendons are looser.

I admit I have hedged a bit with the cast wearing lately. It's not comfortable, I am claustophobic and sometimes wake up in the morning and find the cast in pieces on the floor next to the bed. The weight of it pulls on my hip, even in my sleep, so eventually I had to skip a few nights. Do you think I dragged the Santa Leg with me to Florida for two nights? Nope. I get in enough trouble with the TSA for silly things. Can you imagine what they could accuse me of with a cast? I shudder to even think what they might do to me.

So, after getting yet another clarification on the cast wearing - just wear it 8 hours a day, it doesn't have to be overnight, but that is when most people prefer to wear it - I came home determined to be a Good Girl.

I grabbed some knee high socks and the cast and put it on. It looked a bit awkward to me. My ankle seemed to be bending a little wrong. Is the cast incorrectly made, I wonder? I was uncomfy wandering around my home. Usually it doesn't bother me too much to walk in it, but today, it was awful.

Finally I decided the socks might be too thick, so I searched around for some trouser socks and tried that. Nope, still not feeling quite right.

It dawned on me suddenly that it probably fits exactly on my foot the way I should expect it to, since I had it on the right foot and not the left.

My bad.

 

 

 

 

Defarture

I have been asked a couple of times about how to defart beans. Those of you who already know can skip this entry and go chuckle to yourselves. Those of you who don't, read on and prepare to be bored.

Probably most of us make our dishes using canned beans. Pintos, kidney beans, Great Northerns - they take a long time from scratch. You have to wash the dry bean, sort them through, soak them overnight....it's a long, dull process. Sometimes I do it anyway, but for one person - it's kind of silly. Even when done from scratch, though, you have potential farts.

So, if you have a can of beans in the house, go open it and dump the beans into a colander. Do you see any bubbles? Rinse tap water over the beans - see bubbles form? Those are potential farts. Yes, oh yes, they are! If you dump the beans and the water they are packed in into a dish for a meal, you will get farts.

Now, if you continue to run water over the beans in the colander until the water it was packed in is washed away and no more bubbles form, your beans are defarted.

Exciting, isn't it? Now you can make an informed decision next time you make home made chili or another dish with beans. To fart, or to defart? That will be the question!

 

 

(I make a whole bean dip using 6-7 cans of different beans, two cans of corn, a cut up onion, and a large jar of salsa. Lots of cans to recycle, but you can freeze it up in portions for later, because it makes a lot. It also goes well on top of corn chips, mozzarella, and any cut up veggies, then into the microwave for a minute until the cheese is melted. Voila! Instant fresh nachos!)

The Cable Guy

I happily sent a cable guy away from here with the cable box for the TV. I only have Internet service from Comcast now, and it has been that way for several months. I still have issues with Comcast and so far have lacked the gumption to deal with telling them how I really feel.

They are still charging me, as they have for a year and a half, $3 a month to rent my own modem.

When I canceled the TV portion, I was astonished to see my next bill had a LOT of extra charges on it. Typical of my ambivalence, I ignored them. I had no idea what they were for, even after I looked them up online. In fact, I went as far as noticing that I could send them a form of email to tell them why I am not happy.

So I did. In detail.

Then, they sent me a response saying that in order to deal with the billing, I had to call them. Luckily, they could not hear my verbal response to that email. The dogs learned new words. Of course, I did not call.

Some explanation came recently. Several times over the last few weeks I have seen Comcast on my caller ID, but when I went to get the message, all I heard was a whining sound, similar to a fax sound. Then, yesterday I was home and picked up a call from Comcast, against my better judgment.

I am sure the young man on the other end of the line regrets making the call. He was a salesman, trying to pitch me to upgrade from basic cable. I made it clear to him that I not only don't have basic cable, I turned in the box several months ago and am being charged all kinds of fees. I asked him why he had kept calling my house and hanging up repeatedly.

He got off the phone fast, telling me he can do nothing, knows nothing, and will not even attempt to do anything.

How is he different from anyone else who works there?

Some day I will deal with all of this by going into their offices. They can deal with me in person, and not shuffle me around. I want to see their eyes when they tell me things like how they justify charging me to rent my own modem, and how they took a "one time payment online" and applied it two months in a row.

I will have to do it on a day with high entertainment potential.

 

 

No key?

I have had some doozy melt downs before traveling. I outdid myself this time. My apologizes and thanks to those of you who tried to prop me up and get me out the door. I never slept a wink. I left the house 30 minutes later than I had planned, which is a first. Always, no matter how freaky I get, I am ready on time and out the door. Not this time. Not only was I late getting out, no one told me the roads were still icy from the 12-16 inches of snow we had the day before. It was a lovely slide for over an hour to the airport. Lucky for me, my original departure time allowed me to get there way early. Instead, I was just early. I was early enough to have something to eat while I recovered from the latest insult from airport security.

What could I have possibly done this time? I will never again forget to put all my liquids in appropriately sized containers and then to hand over the baggy. I was almost strip searched for forgetting to hand the baggy over once. My best embroidery scissors are some place in Chicago. No, this one was really, really good. After being up all night, having only 3 or 4 hours of sleep the night before that, packing all night, sliding on ice to the airport, I get in trouble again.

When I was in the Phoenix airport one time, I grabbed a couple of the baggies they had available for passenger's convenience. That seemed a safe thing to use, right? Not in Detroit. While the security creep is holding my baggie and yelling at me because it has a draw-string top and not a zip lock top, I politely pointed out to him that it says, "Phoenix International Airport" or whatever the airport is called, right on the side of the baggie. I thought he was going to grab me when another security guy told him to Back Off Now.

Whew. I didn't want to explain that one to my medical insurance company. Injuried due to a draw-string baggie? In the airport? By security? I am never rude to security or customs or immigration people. Not even when they fondle my lingerie in my suitcase. They are doing a job and I respect that. I am fascinated by their personal interpretations of their jobs, but I have heard way too many stories from friends who have mouthed off to border guards going to Canada. Nope. Not me. Polite, all the way. Then it goes into my journal. Welcome to Detroit.

Three days in Florida! I was very excited. It has been cold here, and windy, and rainy, and ugly and gray. A real break! I got to the Tampa airport. What is this weather? I had on a cotton jacket with a polartek jacket over it, and had shoved the polartek into my carryon when I put my sandals on. I dragged the second jacket back out and put it back on. I got my car.

Funny thing, what lack of sleep can do. I did the paperwork, found the car, pushed the button on the fob and put my luggage in. Only then did I realize that I had a fob and a tag. No key. I shook my head - my car was way at the farthest part of the parking lot. I didn't want to walk back. Some lizard part of my brain wondered if maybe no key was needed? Let's try it. So I got in the car, found a button, and pushed it. Nothing. Hmmm. Another small data recovery - I put my foot on the brake, pushed the button, and the car started. Woo hoo!!

I had repeatedly asked for directions to get out of the airport and on to the roads I needed to find Martha. I asked if there was a place to pull over to go over the map. No, there wasn't. Leave the area and you are on a freeway. OK, I left the area and was on a freeway. The next direction said to go one way on the next freeway. It sounded wrong to me, so I went the other way. By that time, I was correctly at the third freeway, all the way through Tampa, and on my way south almost 100 miles total to find Martha. Which I did. Uneventfully. I can't do that any place else. Only in Florida. Calmly, I enjoyed the drive. It was so windy that the car was sometimes blown part way into another lane. I had a Nissan Altima. Drove nicely, too.

Found Martha! Oh boy - we were going to eat outside on the patio and walk in the sun on the beach - except I was putting my tennies and socks back on and removing my sandals. It was so cold! Martha and I agreed to eat inside - anything else would be cruel. As far as the beach - we gave it a good try. We almost made it a mile, and then moved away from the beach to return. Much too cold and windy!

Martha is great - I sure do wish I lived near Martha :-)

Back to my car, followed Martha back to the road I needed. Back on several freeways, back through downtown Tampa and almost another 100 miles to my final destination. It was almost dark by then. My friend, ST, was to call me when he was done working for the day. I decided to make a trip to the grocery store, get some cranberry juice and vodka, and some snacks. All went well except the vodka. Dry county? I asked a few people where I might find vodka to go with my cranberry juice and no one had any idea. Yikes!

I headed off down the road, in rush traffic, to see if I could find a liquor store. I vaguely remember being in the same area with Cindy 29 years ago and having to go to a liquor store. No luck. I went the other way. No luck. Finally I pulled off to the left and asked a guy in a convenience store where to go. He told me to follow the road that way and turn right on whatever road and it would be on the right. Does no one ever say things like "half a mile" or "five miles" besides me? By that time it was fully dark and I was driving along looking for the store on the right. I found a crappy neighborhood with a strip mall, so I pulled in there looking for XYZ. That is the real name, not a pseudonym. My phone rang. ST is ready for me at the hotel, and asks me where I am.

"I don't know." He knows me well enough to know I am telling the truth. I told him I was looking for a liquor store - which I then found - and told him I should be back in five, ten minutes or so. Maybe.

As I headed back, I recalled that the convenience store guy never told me what the name of the road was I turned on, and I had not a clue. Somehow, I found my way, turned left, turned right, and picked up ST in front of the hotel for dinner. He was proud of me. So was I!

I kept the poor guy up way too late, considering he had to be at work around 6:30 am. He told me it was going to probably be a long day. I figured, OK, I will go for a long walk. Hmmm. Cold. Way too cold! I slept until 10 am. Behind the hotel is a big outdoors mall, which is where I spent most of the day. I had hoped to meet up with some other people in the area, but it didn't work out. I am easily entertained and had fun trying to walk and stay warm at the same time. I asked at the hotel desk for walking trails, but the wind and the cold were just too much. Eventually I went back to the hotel and tried to catch up on some sleep, but ended up reading instead. ST returned kind of late to find me rested and relaxed. Poor guy luckily doesn't need much sleep. He had to be back again at 6:30 am.

He can sleep when he gets old.

The third day he went to work again and, after sleeping again until 10 am, I returned to the mall. It warmed up a little. Still smarting from the reaction my body gave me to the crawfish po boy and clam chowder I had for lunch the day before, I ate very lightly. I had a dish of ice cream, to be exact. I ate that ice cream while I mapped out my return route to the hotel. ST was traveling with work people, which left me getting myself around. No problem. Make me drive around palm trees in January. I can deal with it.

All proud of myself, I set off for the airport. It was getting warmer for sure. They had a small cold spell, which lasted while I was there. But of course. I turned right at the first corner, got on the toll road, aimed for the freeway going east, and found the exit closed. Grrrr - I had a second of panic. I then went west, got off at the first exit, and headed back east, on my way. No problem.

While the trip was very short and cold, I don't regret it. It was worth listening to the child yell at me about the dogs, worth making 20 calls or so for two further dog sitters to cover all of three days, worth missing a lot of sleep. It was cold and windy, but the only snow landed in Daytona Beach, not that far away from where we were.

Missed me this time! Nah nah!

Yesterday it was warmer here than it was in Florida when I was there. We hit 64 degrees yesterday. *sigh*