A diagnosis for Molly

By the end of the evening on Monday, Molly was totally blind. A flashlight didn't even get her attention. A flashlight towards Baby caused her to skittle away from a 6 foot distance, and they both used to react the same. Molly had no reaction at 6 inches.

Molly's vet called me back the following morning. She also felt it could be a brain tumor. She even mentioned vaccine-induced encephalitis, which I have to admit creeped me out a bit. She suggested I take Molly to first an ophthalmologist and then a neurologist. I said I needed to think about it for a while. I was in a bit of shock. Hasn't Molly been through enough?

I called back within a few hours to ask for the number of the ophthalmologist. I figured that to be a waste of time, since Molly was totally blind, but there are some blindnesses that can be reversed. I didn't want to leave any potential stones unturned if they could help Molly. I made an appointment for 2:30 pm today. My wonderful walking partner offered to assist. She has heard stories of Molly on Valium and figured it would be worse with a blind Molly. Very true, that. It was not easy.

The veterinary ophthalmologist did many tests on Molly. Some were simple - tossing cotton balls in front of her eyes. Others were a bit more complicated, but nothing was invasive or painful. The last one involved red and green lights, but I didn't see anything because I was trying to hold Molly still, which isn't easy when I am always feeling like I am moving.

Finally, the vet returned and explained it to me. Molly has SARDS. Suddenly Acquired Retinal Degeneration Syndrome. That means that Molly went blind very fast and there is nothing that can be done to give her back any sight. Nothing needs to be done at all. I have a totally blind dog and she will stay that way forever.

Molly is a bit depressed. I haven't been able to leave the house since Sunday afternoon, other than taking her to the vet today. I hope to be able to leave her for a short period very soon. I fear that if I stay with her too long it will make it harder for her to adjust. I fully intend for her to adjust. She gets around the home with eerie accuracy. She even jumps on the bed by herself at night and finds her favorite spot. She almost never bumps into anything at all, and if she does, it's usually Baby who doesn't yet understand that Molly isn't going to move for her any more.

Mostly, Molly finds me and stays by me. I am OK with that for now, but she hopefully will accept this new assault on her person and continue on using her other senses. It's a rotten deal, but we can try to make the best of it. I am not treating her much differently than normal, but I am watching her carefully to see if she has navigation issues any where here so I can lead her carefully around them a few times until she has them imprinted, however they do that. She can't navigate at all while on a high dose of Valium, so I am happy she finally calmed down and went to sleep.

She has already gone to the front door a few times and hit the servant bell to be taken outside. She hasn't done that for days, maybe longer. Baby goes so often that Molly just tags along.

If you are worrying about the illness, there are generally about 4000 pets a year who come down with it in the USA, so it's not very common. It's more common than Addison's. Early signs can be watched for - extra appetite and extra desire for water. Molly had those. It often happens overnight. It is irreversible, so an early diagnosis isn't really going to make a difference other than peace of mind for what it is. Since it's fast, the dogs often don't have time to learn their ways around without sight in their homes, and many get depressed and scared for a while. The pupils become very large and won't contract. Molly's did contract twice on Monday night, and she was able to see once for about half an hour, and again later for about 5 minutes. She spent most of that time looking at my face, which breaks my heart. She wants me to be what she remembers seeing best. It's how I knew she was seeing - she got perky, and ran up to me without error and looked at me - I moved my hands, and she followed with her eyes.

SARDS does not reduce a lifespan. We will be just fine as long as Molly doesn't go running off a cliff. Not too many of those around here.

 

Molly

I was just leaving for my massage appointment when I handed the dogs their treats and noticed that Molly hadn't taken hers from my hand. I looked down, and she didn't even make an effort,although she looked very enthusiastic. As usual when I see something odd like that, I moved it around to test her vision. She could not see the treat. I put it to her mouth, and she took it and ate it. I gave them a second treat - same thing. Third - they were in hog heaven, but Molly did not see it.

I walked around and watched Molly following me. I stopped and stood still. She walked back to the pantry, but bumped into something on the way. Molly does not bump into things. She wasn't going very fast. She tended to stay fairly close to walls and furniture, but did not touch them. I think she can maybe see a little light. Maybe not.

There have been times over the last two months or so that I felt Molly could not see or hear me. When I waited a few minutes, she could. I was never sure. I hope this passes, but I am not optimistic. Not at all, not this time. This time I am positive she cannot see. 

My last dog, Maggie, was 14 years old. I went away for a weekend. The child was with her. When I came home, Maggie was totally blind. The child hadn't noticed, so perhaps it had just happened. Two weeks (or maybe two months, I honestly cannot remember) later, Maggie went into a seizure that lasted all night, and continued on until I could get my then-boyfriend over to carry her to the car for me because Maggie was too big for me to lift while she was in a seizure. She had never had one before that night.

Because of that night, I wanted smaller dogs from then on. Maggie suffered all night, not even able to control her bodily functions or even to pull her own tongue into her mouth. It was the worst night of my life. It was the last of hers. She had a full, happy life with us after having been turned in as an abused puppy at the local humane society.

Molly is 9 years old. She is a beagle with nice papers, although she is fixed. Her Addison's Disease has nothing to do with this.

Maggie had a brain tumor. I am terrified that Molly does too. I am not afraid of a blind dog, we can work with that, but I do not know what caused it. I have to drug her with Valium to take her to the vet, and it's too late today to have enough time for the Valium to work. She has had sezizures at the vet's office before. I can't risk that. Not now. She has never had a seizure any where else.

Molly's urine is clear, I had it tested over the weekend. So it's not the UTI keeping her back now. It's something much more serious. Maybe a brain tumor - I don't know. I will probably find out tomorrow. Tomorrow is also my birthday.

Keep Molly in your thoughts.

 

Perchance to Dream

I have been taking my new sleep medication for 2 weeks now. It's amazing! I actually am getting deep sleep. I must be - I wake up feeling almost alive! Anyone who has ever seen me first thing in the morning - well, they wish they hadn't. I stumble, I trip over the pattern in the flooring, I whack shoulders into doors, I forget where I am, I drop things, and any improvement is not going to happen for at least an hour. I don't cook in the mornings because I will burn myself on the pan. Or drop a dozen eggs in the dishwasher.

If someone called on the phone and woke me up, it was obvious I had been sleeping. Within a few minutes, I could sort of carry on a conversation. Maybe not a normal one, but I would always try. If someone is calling at an odd time, they usually need someone to talk to, and I am happy to be a good friend.

My dreams used to be vivid to the point that I made jokes for a long time about them being so much like movies that all that was missing was the credits. Then, one night, I dreamed those, too! For real. It made me laugh, but it did happen. My nightmares were as real, sad to say. Dreams hadn't been quite as prevalent as in the past.

Suddenly I am jammed into deep sleep within a few minutes of when I feel the effects of the medication. Not much time seems to be spent in the lighter sleeps at first. I am awake, and then I am history. A few hours later, I am awake, and I must take a second dose, and then I am history. I do wake up briefly off and on when I hear something, or I move over, whatever, but I am right back out within seconds.

I am remembering dreams again. I always seem to have one right before waking up. They are so real that they feel more like memories than dreams. None have been nightmares, so far. They are even more logical than dreams usually are.

One odd reaction from this medication, and not just with me, is that I wake up all of a sudden. I am in a deep sleep, and then I am not. Bingo presto, I am awake and functioning like a human! I walk like one, I talk like one, and even the dogs are trying to figure out if this morning mom is a ringer. Aliens have taken over our chef!

This morning I woke up at 7:49 am. Within 15 seconds of that, ST called me. I wasn't expecting to hear from him early this morning, it was just a total coincidence. He did not know I had been sleeping just before he called. He could not tell. No daytime drag with this stuff! I even remember the conversation.

There are some downsides. No alcohol within 4 hours of ingestion. Seeing Baby puke up her antibiotic was enough to cure me of even being curious. No food at all for 2 hours before I take it. I am rather used to a late snack, and often I forget to eat dinner and now I just have to go without. It hasn't been a problem, since I haven't been very hungry, either. At any time of the day. Oh, and no naps. The chances of me being able to nap are slim, but it doesn't matter because I have no desire.

I feel more alert all the time. No dragging my ass around after an hour or two of doing anything at all. I am not up to the pace I used to keep, but I sort of have some wishful hopes now. My memory is a tad improved, but not any where near where I hope it gets back to. My skin seems less dry. My hair feels better. Sometimes I think my vision is sharpening, maybe just a tiny bit. Parts of my to-do list are getting shorter.

I am hoping I can stay with the program and continue using this medication. I feel really quite good! It's amazing what loss of sleep was doing to me.

My reading is even better. Before, with the previous sleep medication, I needed an hour lead time before it started to really work. However, the sedation and the hypnosis would start sooner, and I would forget in the morning what I had read the night before. I sometimes had to do some re-reading. Not any more - I take the medication and go to bed. I remember what I read! I haven't been able to do that for 20 years.

The dogs are happy, too. When I am awake too much I toss and turn for hours. It's ruins part of their 20 hours a day of beauty sleep.

 

Counting pills

Both dogs had to go see the vet last Friday. Molly was still not perky and Baby has a rash. They won't go without each other anyway, so they might as well both have something to be looked at. I wasn't feeling that perky myself, what with the "vertigo" making me feel like I am living in a permanent earthquake. Nothing like two dogs in a car to spruce things up.

Molly had to have Valium, which doesn't make her sleepy. She turns into a wild, crazed, clumsy food-seeking shark. Or maybe a missle. Her eyes seem to glow. The vet, meaning well, brought out a small packet of treats. Molly spent 2 hours trying to leap off my lap and onto the counter top to get the treats. Even after they were all gone, she was trying to leap up there. I finally set her up on the counter and let her sniff around. It didn't help any. She continued to try to leap up there. I had no idea vet's exam rooms were so indestructable. Baby was a real lady this time. She was watching Molly's leaps herself, wide-eyed with confusion.

The reason I waited so long to take Molly in was because I didn't have anything definite to provide as symptoms. She was eating fine, pooping fine, peeing fine, but not very active. She was lagging on walks, and balking entirely sometimes. I could see pain in her face, but nothing specific seemed to hurt when I pushed on things. The vet found nothing either. Finally I took Molly outside for a pee sample.

Voila!! Very very bad bladder infection. Normally Molly will go out and pee multiple times per visit if she has a UTI, but not this time. I never had a sign. So, she has been assigned an antibiotic pill every day for weeks. Maybe a month. A long time.

Baby's rash - no idea what it is, but she has to take 2 antibiotics a day. Different ones, of course. She didn't get along with them very well - Saturday she threw up her entire breakfast. Holiday weekend, no vets in sight. I decided a rash can wait until Tuesday. We talked to the vet and got some instructions, and so far (cross your fingers - that was hard to get off the carpet!) she hasn't urped again yet.

Molly already gets a shot every 4 weeks and a pill at least once every morning, and more if she gets any kind of stress. I was very stressed and clawed up after the vet visit, butprednisone won't help me. So I gave one to Molly, figuring all that freaked out leaping for food was probably stressful. She finally went to sleep after 6 hours of being hyper. So did I. So did Baby. I bet the vet did, too.

Molly should be back to normal soon, since it has been almost a week, but so far, not much improvement. If her issue isn't only the UTI, she has to get an MRI for possible neurological issues. I feel her pain. This isn't the first time Molly and I have had similar tests done. I was having thyroid, pituitary, and adrenal gland tests done when Molly was diagnosed with non-functioning adrenal glands.

I wonder if I should stop at my vet, I mean doctor's office, and pee in a cup?