Pearl of Wisdom

Do not eat dinner while reading The Mephisto Club by Tess Gerritson. If you must, I suggest you go vegan for that meal.

 

 

The wrong accessories

Carter update: we are still working on getting him rehomed, and it looks like we might have a plan that will keep him in his same area. I sure hope so, since dogs with Addison's disease can die from stress, and traveling across the country could be stressful.

OK, enough serious stuff for a bit. I can't stay serious very long.

It was pointed out to me by Mary that I was not properly accessorized to be walking my neighborhood in my fleece jammies. I gave it some thought, and she is absolutely correct.

First of all, I had on the jammie top and a jacket, too. Wrong. All wrong. I was supposed to wear a belly shirt, with much skin exposed. Muffin top gets bonus points.

The pants, of course, should have been hanging around my hip bones. I will let you know if I find them. (The hip bones, not the pants.) Having them hang so low that it's a good thing I shave gets bonus points - or are there more points if I don't shave and should? Extra bonus points for the pants being 6 inches too long and I walk all over them until they are filthy and ripped to shreds.

I had on my waterproof Steve Madden shoes and Christmas socks. (hey, the ground has been like a sponge here lately!) All wrong. I should have been wearing stiletto heels. Bonus points: shuffling my feet like a inmate, wearing plastic shower sandals. In the snow.

The jammies were a solid color. Totally wrong! They should at least be plaid or neon striped. Bonus points: my boyfriend's sleep pants. Twelve sizes too big. Or maybe Hello Kitty?

My hair was combed, I had on makeup, and I wasn't showing any cleaveage, front or back. I wasn't even chewing gum with my mouth open. I wasn't at the store buying cigarettes or alcohol. I don't think I even used a bad word.

I tell ya, this fashion stuff overwhelms me some times. I will get right on it!

Back on a serious note: Baby, my almost 6-year-old beagle, is sick. She hasn't been sick since she had bloody diarrhea at about 3 months old and I learned not to sleep with a puppy with that condition because they leak. This time, I don't know yet what is wrong. She goes in to the vet tomorrow morning. She has been a bit listless, her tail has been down, and now she screams when she tries to squat to pee. I gave her an anti-inflammatory which helped a bit. She was able to pee a little with just a screech. My guess is not a UTI, but maybe impacted anal glands or a rear end injury that happened when I wasn't home? Honestly, the symptoms were almost invisible until after I called the vet and made the appointment for tomorrow. Then she got much worse.

Keep in mind, I can't separate the dogs. Molly has to go with me or she gets seriously stressed. That means Valium for her first, and we will have to go inside the building. Molly had seizures in there before, and has had to be treated outside since, year around. Baby will need to go in, so Molly will have to go in. The last 3 months for Molly's shot, the vet tech has taken Molly inside for quick visits, and she has been OK (after her shot). My hands will be full, with one dog who can't squat and one who is goofy on Valium and will possibly have a seizure. Molly is also due for her shot. The roads will be very icy in the morning.

OK, I am through again being serious. I am going to go practice accessorizing for my next impromptu walk through the neighborhood in my jammies. I will update tomorrow on Baby. Instead of selling my old house, I might as well just sign it over to my vet.

 

Truck on?

Molly's support group for her Addison's disease has a couple in Texas who cannot afford to keep their dog. A kind woman in Maryland has offered to take the dog, but she is not able to pay for the transportation or to do the driving herself.

The dog's name is Carter, and he is a smooth Collie.

Someone in the group has heard of truckers who will help transport dogs who are being rehomed, but she knows nothing more than that.

Are any of you aware of this kindness by truckers or can you point me to someone who might know something?

If the dog cannot be rehomed, the owners will have him put down. He is only 3 years old and has a manageable illness, but they feel they can't afford to keep him.

Any suggestions are welcome!

 

 

 

Don't want my sexy back

I don't want my sexy back. I want my brain back. I miss it, and it's too tiny to be out alone.

All y'all know I live way up here in the north. It's cold. We have three seasons - July, August, and Winter. We all know I hate it, too. Today it was 63 degrees. Warm, sunny, just an all around lovely day. I spent much of it outside with the dogs, walking and visiting with the neighbors. I felt good.

It still gets dark early, so I came in and did some chores. I finally put my jammies on about 10:30 pm, and within ten minutes Baby hit the servant bell, so I had to take them outside. I grabbed my jacket, locked the front door, and we went out.

At least I know my right and left pretty well. Right pocket, empty bags. Left pocket, full bags. Anyway, it was still so nice out that we decided to walk around the block.

About halfway around I realized that you are free to call me Dumb and Dumber.

Dumb, because I walked around the block in my jammies. I didn't even have my cell phone with me for ID or for emergencies. I just walked the same as I would in my jeans during the day. Luckily, no one saw me. Luckily, these jammies are just basic solid color light polartec and look like regular clothes. Sort of.

Dumber, because when I looked at the pond, I almost smacked myself literally in the head, but I was afraid of knocking some more brain cells loose that would then fall out my ear when I sleep on my side.

This one is too good to miss. Mrs L has to think I have the geographical skills of a two year old. Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Mirror image indeed - LMAO! Turning a picture into a mirror image does not change the fact that the sun still rises in the east. It's not like I have never been to the Outer Banks, either. I know where they are.

I am humbled by my own stupidity.

I hope I don't start drooling or peeing in my pants or something.

Myonly defense is - well, I don't have one. I do know that you can see a sunset from the Outer Banks. No mirrors or smoke needed.

Does that allow me to still feel good?

 

 

 

 

 

Suzy's Tendons

I just wanted to add to my Reader's Digest article here and mention that my intercoastal muscle that was inflamed is now much better. I can't say I ever want to spend another week plus a few more days taking that many Flexeril and Motrin tablets. If I wanted to spend my life in a drug-induced haze, those would not be my choices of mediums. Whew. I wonder what I was doing over the last week? Anyone have a clue? Videos?

My Thanksgiving was just fine. I went to my niece's to spend time with the extended family, but her oven had died that morning so we ate 3 hours late. Maybe she inherited some of my "luck?" Nah, she is a Leo. After that visit, I went to see friends by my old home, and had fun there. I got home too late to visit with the neighbor where I was invited, but we will get together another time. I ate very little the whole day. How Unamerican is that?

I tried to convince my internist that maybe my shoulder issues were really fibromyalgia, but he said no, not a chance. The MRI was very clear, showing a tear and bone spurs. Drat. Sorry, but there will be more entries regarding my various old and damaged body parts.

I do not recommend spending a few decades teaching martial arts, spending years in ballet, high impact aerobics, and other general body-damaging sports unless you want to spend the decades afterwards writing entries in your own Reader's Digest volume of body parts.

Meanwhile, I have learned that using a Swivel Sweeper on a low-pile carpet most of the time and only using a 'real' vacuum cleaner now and then is much easier on my shoulders.

Have I even mentioned my new condo's Reader's Digest of under par parts? The carpet  is builder grade. I figured hey, I have two dogs and I had a cat when I moved in. I expected some adjustment time, and some accidents. I decided I couldn't upgrade everything, so I took the basic carpet and assume I will replace it within 5 years with something more pleasant.

Who knew that builder grade carpet meant that every few steps there is a noise from the carpet that is sort of like a squeaky fart? Even the minimal weight of a beagle can make the carpet squeak. There are lumps, bumps, and even tacks sticking up. I can't walk around in bare feet or just socks without blood being drawn on the tacks. The carpet dries fast when I have to steam it after a doggy incident, but that is because there isn't anything to it. In some places it's higher than the ceramic tiles it abuts; in some places, it's lower. I try to ignore it.

Go ahead, try and ignore it when someone comes in to your home, steps on the carpet, and you both hear a sound that could easily be a high-pitched fart.

Blame the dog. Either one.

 

Lucky Day

A close friend of mine lost her husband on Friday night. She called me to give me the day of the service, but not the time. I found it online at the funeral home's website, and almost got there on time. the map service on Yahoo gave me a bad turn. That was yesterday.

Today, I got up and rushed around to get to the doctor's office for the results of my blood tests last week. They were just fine, as usual. I have so much good cholesterol that it makes my total almost look bad. However, I got a B12 shot in my left arm and a flu shot in my right. Two bandaids. How lucky can one girl get?

After that, I had to hurry and rush to meet my former co-worker for lunch. I expected to be late, but was early. She was late instead. No problem. We had a nice lunch, although the waiter was a bit too slow. We survived it.

Child finally called me from Florida and at least gave me the city she is staying in. She didn't know that before she went, since she went with someone else and hadn't asked. I guess. Something like that, but at least she called.

Last night I was a bit distraught about going today to sit shiva with my friend who is now a widow. I kept myself busy baking cookies to take with me. I must have baked 10 dozen of them - it took me about 6 hours, but it kept my mind off my friend somewhat. Her husband was only 59.

I did manage to take the address of the relative's house to go to, the cookies got to my car, and I was all set to go there after lunch today.

It was a long drive, but I finally got there. Sadly, no one answered the door. I left, feeling even worse since I couldn't sit with my friend. After I got home, I found an email telling me not to go before 3:30. I was there at 2:30, not having received the email early enough. Want a cookie?

When I got home, finally, my "roomie" (she owns the other half of my duplex) asked me if I wanted to walk. I said sure, and went inside to get the dogs saddled up. We walked a mile or two (it's cold out!) and Molly had the poopies. Both dogs stopped often to read the neighborhood p-mail. They always do this when my roomie goes with me.

Are you seeing a trend yet? I wasn't having a very smooth day. I sat down on my recliner sofa, and put my feet up, and had a nice dish of peppermint ice cream for dinner. I can do that, I live alone. I set the dish down and let the dogs lick the dregs. Then, of course, they wanted to go out.

I forgot about the dish and put the recliner thing down that holds my feet. What is that thing called, anyway? Foot rest? The dish got smashed between the thing and the metal frame of the sofa - shattering it into many sharp little pieces. I took the dogs out, and came back in and cleaned up the billions of little pieces of glass. I almost never break anything - I have glasses I got when I got married in 1971.

By that time I just wanted to do something quiet and safe, so I poked around a bit online and decided to read my monthly horoscope at Astrology Zone. I am a virgo.

Imagine my surprise when I read that today, November 21, is my best and luckiest day of the entire year. Too bad I had plans only to read tonight. I re-injured the pulled muscle in my back, and was told by the doctor on Friday that I probably had fractured a rib when I threw a vacuum cleaner - or  something I shouldn't have been lifting or throwing - into child's dumpster when I helped her move out of her apartment a few weeks before I moved this summer. It sure did hurt, and it didn't go away very fast. I was having trouble with breathing in again, so that is why I went on Friday to get it checked. The little tiny bit of painting I did earlier in the week did not justify the pain I had the next day, and it wasn't going away.

So, now I am taking three Flexerils and 12 Motrin a day. Yeah, that is a lot of either, but that is what I have to take for a few more days. If I have to leave the house and drive, I am to skip that Flexeril. Like this morning, I skipped it.

Child told me to go buy a lottery ticket. I said no, I would surely buy a huge winner, but then I would lose it. It has been that kind of a day.

 

 

Finding Things

It takes half of a Dairy Milk Cadbury bar and half of a Caramello Cadbury bar to become proficient in Excel - just in case anyone needed to know! I spent a few hours at it - 3 total, but at least half of that time was spent toggled over to AOL to do email and read news. Or weather. Or anything, that wasn't Excel.

My problem is that I have been taught Excel, but don't use it. It's hard to remember the bells and whistles that way. I was originally a math major in college, so statistics and such are not a big deal to me. Remembering where to find some of the more arcane features of a program are more of a deal for me - they did not exist when I was learning more advanced math classes. I didn't even have a calculator when I did statistics. Imagine that!

The missing tape dispenser. Well, that is no longer missing. The night I wrote here mentioning that it was missing, I had a dream. I dreamed something vague about something being lost and being exactly where it was expected to me. I woke up crabby and confused. I knew where it had been, but had no idea where I had moved it. Hm, I did move it, right?

Then the light bulb went on. I went to where I had last seen it - which was on the stereo stand where I set it down while installing the programmable thermostat. Sure enough, it was there. It's brown, the stand is brown - somehow I walked past it a million times and didn't see it. My subconscious saw it on the middle shelf, I guess, and tossed it into my dream. Why couldn't it just yell at me? "Hey, stupid, you just walked past it for the hundredth time tonight! I can see it, why can't you?"

Brains are funny things, aren't they?

 

Question?

How much chocolate is needed to do an entire 8 chapter tutorial, in one sitting, on Excel 2000 - using Excel 2003?

(probably less than the other way around!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Cable Guy

The cable fix-it guy came out today. He said they will either wash off the marks, paint for me, or give me a credit to re-paint. He seemed to be leaning towards the last one. Since I can't paint ceilings that are 11 feet high right now, that isn't going to do me much good, is it? It will probably be a year before I can do that, assuming that my left shoulder can escape the same surgery, which I totally doubt. Lately, it hurts more than the "bad" one.

This guy was very nice and polite. Of course, he gets paid to be nice and polite. He wasn't sure if he is supposed to address the other issues or not. He only got notice to address this one, so far. I had several other complaints.

It's a start, right?

If anyone knows where I put my tape dispenser, give me a holler, OK? I know I had it when I put up the programmable thermostat. Then I put it "away."

I would just get a new one, but my mom gave me that one about 20 years ago, and I am rather attached to it. How could I lose something like that? Where ever it turns up, there will be some logic to it. So far, I haven't been able to follow the thread my brain took that day.

It's gorgeous outside here today - must be close to 65 degrees, no wind, sunny. We are about to embark on a Long Walk. (It's probably 10-15 degrees above normal.)

After that, I plan to plant bulbs. I love seeing daffodils and tulips coming up in the spring.

 

good/bad/good/bad

Try Two. The first is in hyperspace someplace. Please send it home if you find it.

Good - I had contacted the cable company and someone is coming out about the first cable guy who left his mark here - on my walls, my ceilings, etc....

Bad - two days after my call to the cable company I was unable to get online. They had cut off my service for non-payment. This is after I had called them with complaints regarding their installation, billing, and service.

Good - now I have something else to add to the list.

Bad - no one has called from the cable company regarding anything other than Mr Dirty Hands.

Good - I found a nice console at the Neiman Marcus Outlet store. The price was decent, and it's a nice hunk of wood.

Bad - they don't deliver.

Good - I have an SUV. They loaded it up when I went back to get it.

Bad - it's much too big for me to carry. I suspect it did not do good things for my suspension. It was probably hard on the car, too.

Good - the sweet young men next door who are finishing their grandmother's and aunt's basements agreed to take the console out of my car and put it in my foyer.

Bad - the poor guys did it in the rain and then I was a couple of minutes late for my Excel class. I was on my way to class when I saw them outside, and took advantage of them.

Good - they were able to lift it and gently set it down for me.

Bad - the time the guys at Neiman-Marcus smashed it into something, it turns out that they smashed up a corner of the top. (It wasn't the guys next store - I was present and watching like a hawk both times it was moved.)

Good - the missing shelves, for which they gave me $75 off, turned out to be under the wood shelf for the middle section. I didn't really need the glass shelves anyway. I figure with the smashed corner, we are even.

Bad - That corner will drive me nuts forever.