I have your support right here....

For months, I have quietly endured a very, very slow computer. You can guess why, right? I don't want to deal with tech support. I would rather put my eye out with a fork. I did, however, call AOL in a weak moment. My new buddy Andy there in support was obsequious, but assured me the problem is with Microsoft, not AOL. He said the MS firewall and the AOL firewall don't like each other. No shit.

He gave me two numbers to call at MS and a case number from AOL. That was at least a month ago. Today I finally tried to call. The first number doesn't exist any more, but they gave me support.microsoft.com, which I went to. No help there, since I bought my computer with MS already loaded in. I tried the second number, and it was for sales. Thanks, AOL. That guy gave me a third phone number of 800-936-5700, where I made friends with Paul. He gave me the option of paying them $35 at yet another phone number to fix my problem, or call Gateway, or go to support.gateway.com.

I accepted the idea of calling Gateway. I was already in a bad mood by then. I figured one more phone call couldn't hurt anything. Ms Phone System there almost got me to use four letter words (OK, I admit I said a bad word AFTER I hung up. That doens't count, right?). She wanted to know if I have a letter, and not just numbers, in my serial number. Hello, want to tell me where my serial number is? I finally turned the laptop ass up, and found a serial number that starts with N, so I pressed 1. Oh sorry, your computer was purchased in a retail store. You need to call 408-273-0808.

I didn't do it. I am taking my computer to class with me. My assistant worked for IBM for 30 years and is very tech savvy. We joke that he is high tech, I am user friendly. That is why they like me to teach - I can get on the same level as the students. I think that is because I belong there. Barney will fix my non-compatible firewalls. Probably I need to close the MS one, but I don't want to make that decision on my own.

I do not hate tech support any less after these calls. I just wasted more than 30 minutes and have nothing good to show for it. My computer is still slow, I am crabby, and the beagle puppy's mom is still at work.

Maybe I can go shred someone's socks.

Actually, tonight I get to teach my all-male class to surf the web. Somehow I will teach them how to find porn. I realize they will eventually figure it out, say in 93 seconds, but I will teach them enough about search engines so they can skip the first 87 seconds of confusion. I won't actually say "porn." I figure it is all part of the lesson, though. Why else would they have signed up for the class?

 

 

Puppy Magic

This was a real dog day for me. I am not complaining. It was all good.

I had physical therapy today, then came home to drag the hog dogs around for a few miles. The weather was good, at least when it was not storming, so I put off a billion chores and errands again to walk. It will soon be way too cold for me to step a foot out that door for several months. I will go from house to garage to car and will do that as little as possible.

We walked about two miles. On the way back, I saw my disabled neighbor driving by. She waved and I hurried my dogs. I knew she would take her Cairn Terrier out, and the dogs love to visit. We got there just in time.

The Cairn, Gaily, doesn't get to walk as much as my girls do because her mom just can't. Sometimes she gets around the block, sometimes she doesn't even try. I have offered several times to take Gaily along with my girls, but her mom was afraid I couldn't handle 3 dogs. Gaily is very social and just worships my beagles. She is like a little girl who admires her older teenage sisters. I offered today to take Gaily along for a while, and finally her mom agreed.

I found myself with three very happy dogs. Luckily, mine had already walked a few miles and were content to behave. Gaily was so excited that she made me laugh. We walked near my condo and ran into the other beagle lady, who walks her dog with an e-collar. That means no leash.

Baby, my younger beagle, howls when she sees someone she knows. She really, really likes the beagle lady. So does Molly. So does Gaily. I had 80 lbs of happy dogs straining at 3 leashes to get to the beagle lady. We made it, and I didn't get braided in the process. Beagle lady took one of my beagles, and that made it easier for me.

We went to the pond and let Gaily have a dump on the grass. Her mom makes her use the mulch right outside her door - Gaily is not allowed to potty on grass. Gaily loves me even more now. Baby dumped at exactly the same time. I bagged it all and stuck it in my sweatshirt pocket (yuck). Gaily was summarily returned home after a decent walk. She was smiling and telling her mom all about her Big Walkwith the Big Girls. Everyone went home happy.

Later, the beagle lady came to my door with her beagle. Her dog thinks I am the Dessicated Liver Lady. I had to toss chunks to all three dogs - they love that crap. That dog will come to my door and just glow with the thought of that liver. When the door opens, she makes a beeline to my pantry door and scratches at it. Silly girl.

Later on in the evening, I was catching up on some emails when Baby started to pace and whine. I figured Gaily was outside again, so I went on the front porch to see. Baby had it half right. There was a lady coming down the street being walked by a 12-week-old beagle puppy.

I love dogs, no question about it. But there is something special and magical about puppies. I can be in the crappiest mood and if I can stick my face into a puppy's neck, I am instantly cured. It's maybe a wee bit rude to grab a puppy off the street and hug it if you haven't met the owner yet, but I didn't care. The owner understood. I think she told me her name. I know the puppy is Bella. She is so sweet, and has a lot more black on her face than I usually see on a beagle. No brown. I hope she walks by often.

To think I almost didn't move to a condo. There are now 8 beagles living in two blocks. It's not unusual to go for a walk and find ourselves on someone's driveway with half a dozen dogs, leashes getting tangled, butts getting sniffed, and owners chatting about whatever.

At my old house? The one I still haven't sold? I lived on a cul-de-sac that had 4 houses on it. I had the only dogs for years - two beagles. When I moved, there were two beagles on the east side of me. When I stopped by earlier this week, the neighbor on the west side brought out her new 9-month old puppy - a beagle. To the west of them, I was told, the neighbors who were moving in just as I left - they have a beagle puppy. Just a tiny, baby one, but I didn't see it.

Yet.

Watch out. Beagles are taking over.

I finally got what I needed

I have been needing something since I moved in this new condo. I have waited patiently, hopefully, holding out for just the right guy with just the right gentle touch. He had to totally understand how my system works, play it like a pro, then teach me how to do it myself. After all, I can't expect him to be here every time I need it.

Finally, on Saturday, the man of my dreams showed up at my door. I quietly let him in, and he did his thing that he does so well. I was happily impressed and immensely pleased, and paid careful attention as he taught me what I needed to do when he could not be here for me.

With great skill, a smile, and a flourish, he turned off my sprinkler system. I love this man.

However, I might not let him back in when he comes knocking in the spring to turn the system back on.

 

 

 

Minor Corrections

Whoops. The first drink last night was not a tootie roll martini. It was an Almond Joy martini. It has chocolate and coconut - two of my most favorite flavors. He dribbled chocolate sauce around the inside of the glass - it makes a very pretty presentation with the cherry.

My daughter did sort of hear me swear once before, but she doesn't remember. When my father died, my mom gave me his car. I think she didn't like me driving around in a tiny little Honda Civic wagon that had a manual transmission. I loved that car. Anyway, my dad's car was a Lincoln Mark Whatever. My dad died in 1988. I had never owned a car before with a security system.

Can you guess? I took my daughter with me to the bank. I locked her in the car because it was winter. She was 8. I was just a few feet away at the ATM machine. I went to re-renter the car, and the VERY LOUD alarm went off. There I stood, in freezing cold, looking like I was trying to break into a new Lincoln with a young girl in it.

I said "shit." I didn't say it very loud, and since child swears she doesn't remember, I am not sure it counts. I had no idea how to get in the car, and she was laughing too hard to listen when I told her to unlock the doors from the inside. That time, I was traumatized for life!

I kept the Honda and sold the Lincoln after about a year.

Cassie asked me what I am reading now. I read so much that I generally say that I read authors, not books. If I find a new author I get excited and read everything they ever wrote. Currently I am reading books by (and these are not all new authors to me, although one is): P D James, Keith Ablow, and Douglas Preston/Lincoln Child. Next week, maybe I will have moved on to a few others. I don't watch TV at all, so I read instead. Yeah, I am paying for cable TV, and still haven't turned it on since I moved in two months ago.

Remo, it's odd you said it's a good thing I only have a birthday once a year. The local police said the same thing last night!

Don't I get credit for teaching my child some good employment skills?

 

Yet Another Birthday

Didn't I just have one of these a year ago? I cannot remember what I did last year. I am sure my daughter was involved, and the journals decided, after I spent half an hour trying to get to the right date, that they weren't going to give it up. I do remember that two years ago I almost got in a bar fight on my birthday. That one was quite memorable.

This year, my daughter was working. I figured no problem, since Gary has called me for my birthday every year for 20 years and we have gone out. Ooops. No Gary this year.

I decided I would ask my new neighbor, the other beagle lady, if she wanted to go with me to my daughter's restaurant and have dinner. Since it's in a mall, we could do some shopping, too. She said sure, it sounded like fun.

We went early enough to get a seat at the bar. Immediately, my child had the other bartender make me a tootsie roll martini. Those are immensely yummy. They came with a cherry - as usual, my daughter took the stem and stuck it in her mouth and did what I taught her when she was younger to keep her quiet for a few minutes - tied it into a knot with her tongue. (she's my daughter, Remo, don't go there!)

After that, my friend and I proceeded to try a few other drinks. I remember a melon martini of some kind, and it was incredibly good. There was also a blue velvet martini - my friend really liked those. I had a hot sake, then drank my friend's raspberry sake. She hadn't had sake before and didn't really like drinking dishwater (that is pretty much what it tastes like).

In the meantime, being the way I am, I was chatting with the couple on my left. They were not married, but have been dating about a year. They found it entertaining that it was my birthday and the bartender was my daughter. He had a smart mouth and my daughter kept right up with him, and we were all laughing. His girlfriend decided I need to meet their single friend Bob, and she gave me her card so we could arrange it.

After they left, a nice gay couple were behind my friend and I. They were adorable, of course. The one guy, I think his name was Jim, was whining about having to wait 2 1/2 hours for dinner. I told him that I don't wait. He decided at that point that I was his best friend. I called over the manager, said the guy was a buddy of mine, and they were seated in 5 minutes. I hope they tipped accordingly.

We had a good dinner. We had lettuce wraps, Mongolian beef, veggie fried rice, and sea bass. I think we had dessert. I know I had a birthday candle, but was not allowed to let it burn down and set the fortune cookie on fire. I was forced to blow it out. I made a wish, of course.

I made one mistake. Once I realized that we had 5 minutes to shop, I said a not very kind four-letter word. My daughter, who has never heard me swear, put her hands up to her mouth and opened her eyes very wide. She said she was damaged for life.

So, we decided to leave.

It was a very good birthday :)

 

 

Cheap, cheap

The other day as I was heading out, I got in the car and reached for the garage door opener. I almost got back out of the car to open the door using the button on the wall. Why? To save the cost of a new battery. Yeah, I can be very frugal at times. Then again, I don't have to go to the store to buy electricity, so it's also a time saver, right?

I know we all have things we do to save ourselves money. Some are very practical, some are downright silly. I don't keep pantyhose if they have a run in them. I know many women will keep them to wear with slacks. I get all my books now from the library. I think of the library as mine, and they store my books for me. I just ask, and they give me whatever I want. However, when I eat out, I tend to tip 25-50%. Go figure. I have left a $2 tip for a $3 snack. Some people do carryout so they don't need to leave a tip.

My old house isn't sold. I wouldn't say it's likely to sell soon in this market. Michigan is having a one-state recession, and our housing market is way down in the toilet. The auto industry paid thousands of people to retire early, some barely 40 years old, if that. They received enough to take their education and experience and move out of state. This is not a good indicator for us who are still here.

As a result, I am forced to spend carefully. Maintaining the old house along with it's new mortgage is a major strain on a pension. Let's say my expenses now are double my income. However, I need some things for the condo. I can deal with delayed gratification, but some things need to be done.

I mean, how long can a girl go without towel bars and toilet paper holders? I had to buy those. I needed a programmable thermostat, which luckily I had bought in advance, along with the bathroom medicine cabinets. Blinds.

Oh yeah, blinds. My condo has a lot of windows. Even the laundry room has a nice window. The bedroom and the kitchen both have nice sized bay windows. I stay up late at night, with lights on. That leaves me running through the house in the dark once I dress for bed. I can't change my sheets after dark unless I want to share the experience with my neighbors.

The other beagle lady here who I have made friends with told me a few weeks ago that another neighbor is getting Pella windows with the blinds built in. They wanted to sell their blinds, which were like brand new. They only had them up a few months. All custom fit. Hmmm.

Linda thought of me right away, and I decided it would probably be a good idea. They sold them to me for less then a third of what they paid. I then felt justified to pay a professional to install them, since my shoulder is still in bad shape. He needs different brackets for the bay windows, but the others are all up. They are just white verticals, but I am not complaining. No way would I have gone out at this point and spent several thousand dollars on custom sized blinds for my entire condo at once.

Perhaps if I waited a little longer, the neighbors would have taken up a collection for me to improve their view.

       ps - if you are in a drought area, grab a bucket and hurry up here!