Take That!

Anyone who has read me for awhile knows how I feel about bees, wasps, and hornets. I am terrified of them. It's pitiful, but what can I do? I have only a few fears, and stinging insects is one. I got stung two summers ago and my arm swelled up pretty bad and it hurt for two weeks. So I am in no hurry to get stung again.

I have been achingly polite for the last few years when working in my yard. When I go after weeds and they buzz my hair, I back off. I have enough yard work to do all around the house that I can just mosey on to another area. Truthfully, sometimes I run.

To be cautious, I wear work boots for yard work. That also protects my toes if I drop an axe on them. Don't ask, OK? I wear long sweat pants, no matter how hot, with elastic at the bottom so nothing can get up my pant legs. Usually I wear a t-shirt, not a sleeveless tank top. It cuts down on the scratches.

Recently I started wearing a little white baseball-type hat. I got tired of coming in the house and having things jump out of my hair. I put my hair up in a ponytail and stick the hat on top. I shake the hat off before I come back in the house.

Yesterday late afternoon I decided to put the patio furniture together. I got the dolly out and dragged all the heavy boxes to the patio in back. I have a glass table, 4 chairs, an ottoman (more coming), a side table, an umbrella base, and an umbrella. There is also a sort of tent umbrella, but I will get around to that later. I got most of the things assembled, but there is a part broken on one table. I called the store, and they gave me an 800 number and said they will send me the part free. I guess it happens a lot, so I will ask for some extra parts.

Then I grabbed the camera, to be able to post some pictures. I very carefully shot a few angles of the existing patio furniture, minus the damaged table. I threw in a few shots of my pretty trees across the back of my yard, and one or two of areas that need a lot of work. I came inside, feeling I had accomplished something. Then I remembered that earlier I had removed the media card to download some pictures someone had asked for. I wonder why the camera acted like it was working? No idiot light for that?

After that, I spent 3 hours doing yard work. I hate doing it. I always hate it. The hornets love to bomb me and see how fast I can run. For once, they let me get some of the biggest weeds out before they came after me. It is amazing how long their legs are. I see them a little too close up.

My back and neck were aching from sawing off branches and ripping up weeds. My right hand was screaming at me for using the hand clippers so much to trim bushes and small tree branches. The new patio furniture seemed a good cure. I grabbed a beer, and sat on one of the chairs. They have adjustable backs. I leaned one back, stuck my feet on the ottoman, and set the beer on the side table. It had been years since I sat outside on my own patio.

It was so calming. My muscles relaxed and I just sat there and looked at my back yard, at the trees, at bushes, and thought about changes I want to make out there. It was so relaxing that I decided it was time to spray the hornets.

The hornets have nested in the wood siding right next to that window I bonked my forehead on. The thought of sleeping inches from a hornets nest is not relaxing. I have spent weeks trying to get up the courage to spray them. The beer helped, too. I grabbed the can and confidently strode out the front door and stood out in front of the crack in the siding.

I pushed on the top of the can and heard a "pfffhhhtt" and that was about it.

I tucked my tail between my legs and snuck back in the house without peeking to see if any neighbors saw me point a can bravely at the siding and have it flub on me.