I was Malled

Y'all know I can spell, so hopefully no one thought I was mauled. No, being mauled would maybe be easier this time of year. I had to go to the mall.

It's true that every Sunday morning and often on Fridays I am at one mall or another to walk with Late. I enjoy the walks and the talks with Late. We solve all the world's problems, plan new trips, discuss the idiosyncracies of the male half of the species, observe odd specimens of either sex who are also at the mall, and generally chat so much that we don't even realize that we have walked up to ten miles. That is not the same as Going To The Mall. It is especially not the same as Going To The Mall During Holiday Shopping Season.

Child has a boyfriend. It seems pretty serious. It's definitely serious enough that this year I have to buy gifts for two people. Normally, I only shop for Child. I have ceased exchanging gifts with anyone else. It was a relief to get to this stage. Child and I have a specific dollar limit on shopping, even, so we know when to stop. It allows us to enjoy the rest of the season more comfortably. It really does.

I am also the type of odd duck who doesn't believe in being given a list and being told to go buy someone stuff that they can just as easily get during the year for themselves. There is no surprise in that. I don't accept lists. This leaves me with buying something special for someone I don't know very well. I feel I am up to the challenge, and made a decision. I walked with Late on Sunday all through our local upscale mall seeking this item. No dice. It must not be considered high end enough. OK, I find things pretty well.

I went online and found that the mall closest to me is only one of two places in the entire state that carries this item. I brought up the map, which showed the store to be on the outside of the mall. That was even better. This mall might be only about 5 miles from me, but it's not my favorite place to go. I don't know it very well. I put this trip off for days and finally went yesterday around 3 pm.

The store was not where the map showed it to be. I drove all the way around the mall twice to be sure. I am also an odd duck who will do anything to avoid paying to get a phone number. I just draw the line there. My choice wasto drive back home, get the number, and call the store to see where they were. Surely they knew where they were, even if I didn't. Instead, I remembered that my $4.99 a month Internet service on my phone was recently upgraded to include some new options. Several of my friends make fun of my phone Internet service - why not just get a smart phone and get the "real" Internet? Anyway, after a few minutes of whapping on buttons and making some far-fetched guesses on where to find the information, I found it! Yay! I called the store, and was advised that they were in the mall, upstairs.

I parked my car in a section of the mall that I don't usually use. Pauline will understand this. I have an area in every mall where I park. That way, my car can't be more than 2-3 rows away from where I think it is. I went in the mall, found the store, made my purchase and was ready to go within 10 minutes. Instead, I decided to walk a little and try to learn my way around it. Why not? I had the time.

I have also decided that my Achilles' tendons probably shortened up a bit due to the tarsal tunnel problem I had in my right foot. The extreme pain I had then caused me to take short steps. Recovery after surgery took 18 months, and then I realized that I no longer had the ability to walk Really Fast, but had no idea why. I just accepted it, and decided to go for distance, if I couldn't get good speed. I can walk normally, but I used to really move fast. I think during that time of pain and recovery from surgery that the tendons decided to tighten up, as they assumed they weren't needed as much any more. So, I think if I take slightly, just very slightly, longer strides, I might start to correct my problem a little. I proceeded to take slightly longer strides (which hurts, but not extremely so) and walked around the mall a few times. I probably walked 2-3 miles when I decided I was getting hot in my winter jacket and wanted to leave.

Nice plan. Where did I park? I knew from the outside, but not from the inside. I walked around the first floor several times, looking for my entrance. Nothing looked right. All I could remember was that I parked by valet parking. I couldn't even remember walking in by a store other than seeing a sign for a window company. When I looked on a mall map, there was nothing regarding a window company, so I figured it must have just been a large ad for a window company.

So, I walked some more. I like to walk, after all. I really do enjoy it. I grabbed a diet Coke and walked more. I looked in windows as I went by, stopped to touch a few things, watched people, and walked. Eventually I began to wonder about myself. Where did I park and how do I get there? I went outside one door that was familiar, but realized that I would need to walk way around a section that had no sidewalk to get to the lot I was parked in. I didn't stop to notice that it went up.

Finally I meandered into the security section and asked a very nice young man with a gorgeously shaped mouth where the valet parking was. He said there are two places, both on the second floor.

Oops. I had forgotten that in that mall, some of the doors go outside from the second floor. I thanked him and turned down his offer of having someone drive me around to find my car. Once I realized that I needed to be upstairs, I went right to my car, and spied the window store (that is not on the mall directory) on the way out.

By the time I got home, my left foot was very sore and swollen. I told it to cut that crap out because I intend to walk. I put my cast on for a few extra hours and laughed at myself. Is my future some day to be in a mall, walking for days, trying to find my way out? When I finally go to leave, will I try to pull when I should push, too?