Pick a number

Pick a number. Any number. Claim it will be the high temperature for the day. Get paid. Go home, have an adult beverage, laugh your ass off, get laid, go to sleep.

That is how I sometimes picture weather forecasters. The WF for today said it would be 67 degrees for a high, with rain. So, I put on a tank top and a button cardigan sweater and jeans, high heels, and took off early to coach the Windows XP class I am currently volunteering my time for. Don't tell me about teaching old dogs new tricks - the senior citizens in that class are doing so well that I hardly need to be there to help out.

After that, I had lunch with a friend. By that time, it was clearly sunny and warm. Very warm for less than 67 degrees. I was suspicious. I had to leave the sweater on, since my tank top was too skimpy on its own to be worn alone. Luckily, I like to be warm. Lunch was wonderful. We went to a local tavern that is well known for their superb hamburgers and has been around for a half decade or so. Their pickles are early dills; very succulent.

Upon leaving the restaurant, I was positive that 67 was not going to be our high for the day. After a hug and a quick kiss, I was back in my car with the a/c on. I love to be warm - if I had the a/c on, it was warm out.

Next stop: library. I dropped off two books and swore the one they are showing overdue was returned several weeks ago. The librarian gave me an Evil Eye, but I stuck to my story. She primly told me that she would check the shelves to verify my claim. I said I was positive, but that I realized I would have to pay for the book if it wasn't there. It happens now and then - I drop off a book, and it falls through a magic hole in the floor.

I picked up a new pair of jeans yesterday and was surprised to find them a little big. I stopped to buy a pair a size smaller, but of course they didn't have the same ones in the next size down. Hot water might save the day. My mind was more on a long walk with the beagles, since the temperature was definitely closer yet to pleasing me.

As I was almost home, I looked to the south. Ah, clear, blue skies. I looked to the north. Ooops. Black sky. Was that thunder I heard? Oh my, for sure that was lightning! Better hurry; the dogs don't like to get their feet wet.

I rushed in the door, grabbed the leashes, got the dogs ready, and hurried them out the door. They were whining - mom, you were gone over 6 hours! Yeah, but hey, I want to walk! Let's hurry so I can change to walk. Being dogs, they immediately forgot that I had been gone and dragged me to the backyard so they could pee. Why not pee closer to the house? Despite all my attempts to walk on my toes, my heels sunk into the dirt a few times. Nice black leather shoes, soft as a....baby's bum? Slightly dirty now. Oh well.

We came back in and I checked my computer to see if the book was showing returned. Sure enough, it was off my account. Maybe the book my daughter walked off with in January - nah. Not going to lie to a public library. They might check things out and find out I moved from that city in July and take away my precious card I have had for 30 years at the same library.

Before I could get changed, the rain started. Woooo, a huge storm! The temperature? 79 degrees.

I love the heat, I really do. But somewhere there is a weather forecaster who has had an adult beverage and is laughing, and soon will get laid. Payday is Friday.

That guy has our number.