After AZ

It's a good thing that I like to be amused, or I could get depressed and angry at times. Instead, I laugh, and the dumbest things can make my day.

Last Sunday I realized I had a, uhm, rash. It was near my waistline, and in a few other areas. Nothing big, but it was the day before my massage and I didn't recognize the rash. Keep in mind I am a redhead and have fair skin. If anything can happen to skin, I have had it or will have. This includes skin cancer, twice. So, I looked at this rash and tried to decide if I wanted to risk giving it to the Vampire and the rest of his patients - since I couldn't identify it, I had to assume it could be contagious. Normally, I would ignore it for a while and see what developed.

In order to be a Good Citizen, I decided to go late to our first block party and headed up to my doctor's clinic. Yes, the same clinic that did not catch my encephalitis, even though I was sitting right there looking for help when I was in the midst of it. The same clinic where the nurse misunderstood my "ear infection" complaint for a "urine infection," which led to a mighty odd set of questions and answers.

After answering another 5,093 questions by the nurse regarding a rash she didn't ask to see, the doctor strolled in. I believe the guy might have Tourette's Syndrome. He certainly has something. It's hard to describe his mannerisms, so I decided he must be a very good doctor to get where he is acting like that! Assuming is a dumb thing, isn't it?

He listened to my heart. For a skin rash. OK, he is thorough. I had no idea he could learn much in less than a second, though. It was more of a touch the skin routine than actually listening to anything. I thought, wow, he must really be quick!

Then he asked me if I have pets. I said yes, two dogs. (Wondering: are we going to discuss allergies again? That led to me getting tested by an allergist which led to her insisting I get a pneumonia vaccine that I strongly protested against, which led to - encephalitis. And may be leading other places still.) He said that dogs can give people ringworm. I probably have ringworm.

Would he perhaps like to see the rash first?

He looked at it, and proclaimed it to be ringworm, since dogs can give people ringworm. Without telling him that my dogs don't have ringworm so they can't give it to me, I said, logically, "Does this look like ringworm to you?"

"Well....no, not really. It's shingles."

I looked again. Yep, rash is still on both sides of my body. "Does this look like shingles to you, on both sides of my body?"

"Well....no. It's ringworm."

AIEEEE!!!

"Does it really look like ringworm to you?" (YES, we really did go through this! I should have an audio of the conversation. Then again, a video would have been interesting, too.)

"No, it really doesn't. I will give you something for ringworm."

"I don't want anything for ringworm because it's not ringworm. Do you have any idea what it is?"

"It's shingles."

"It's not shingles. It's not ringworm. What is it?"

I don't know. I see ringworm all the time, more than you do. I see shingles all the time. It's ringworm."

"It's not ringworm."

"Do you want me to take a scraping?"

"No, I want to see my dermatologist tomorrow."

"OK, good idea. I have no idea what it is."

Nurse: "No co-pay today. You are free to go!"

Next day: Dermatologist

"What are you reading?" (grabs book from my hand)

"Just an old book. Remember the last time I was here and was reading "Fifth Vial? You said you had read it too? My problem with that book is if she dreamed the whole thing, what happened to the gun shot wounds she should have had?"

"Gosh, you are right! She should have had physical evidence from that. It does kind of ruin a book or movie when something like that is so obvious, doesn't it? So, what kind of rash do you have? Let's see."

"Here, and here...."

"Hm. It's on both sides, so it's not shingles. You had shingles once, yes? Can't get it again. Poison ivy."

"I was out west."

"OK, poison oak."

We proceeded to look at his maps on the wall showing pictures and locations for poison ivy, oak, and sumac. I said that with all the trouble I have had with poison ivy, I have not learned to recognize the plant. He said he didn't, either.

He also told me that all three plants have the same oil, and are equally nasty. I didn't know that before. Listening to him try to pronounce the name of the oil - something like ururishol - made us both laugh! My rash really hadn't itched all that much, and was not showing the usual poison ivy pattern, so I had not recognized it. He gave me a small sample tube of Topicort to use, since the rash wasn't that big.

The next day, it started to pop out all over, but not in huge areas. A few days later, it started on the middle of my stomach and still ITCHES. Usually the later rashes are less itchy.

I still am not sure how I got this. It seems unlikely that I got it in Arizona - I didn't see that many plants, and I am used to avoiding foliage anyway, just in case. The other possibility is that ST came here the day before I left for the trip. He had just left a 45-mile bike ride, partly through a park and woods, and was very happy to see me. Most of my rash is on my chest and stomach, with a little on my face and neck. Most of those areas were not exposed in AZ. Once before, he gave me poison ivy on my ankle, possibly off his shoes. I hadn't been any place to get it. Even if I needed to know, there probably isn't a test to separate poison ivy from poison oak.

It's not gone yet, but it's improving a little. It's not contagious, so it didn't affect my massage.

After leaving the dermatologist's office, I stopped off to see Cindy, my Nature Girl friend. We were on her patio. I pulled up my shirt, she said, "Poison ivy."

Next time, I go to Cindy first, but it won't be nearly as entertaining.