Look boss, de farts are coming!

Sunday I had planned to spend my day cleaning my home and preparing for my trip to Arizona. Yes, another one. Late invited me again, so off I go!

I came home after walking with Late (approximately one hour late this time) about 2 pm. Child called and decided to visit me so she could borrow a library book of mine that just came out. We share some authors, which is both good and bad. I have had to pay for several library books because she takes mine and doesn't turn them in or return them to me.

She took one in January when she was supposed to be helping me after my shoulder surgery. It's not returned yet. A few library personnel took pity on me and I still have time to return it. I almost had to pay for it, but a good story goes a long way.

I told the child that she was not borrowing another library book from me. She offered me a deposit of $20.

$20 deposit for a library book? The book costs $25, which means another misplaced book would cost me $30. We discussed it. Meanwhile, she appeared here about 3 pm. I was making chili.

ADD people do things like this. I needed to clean, sort out some paperwork, start packing, make a billion phone calls, run a thousand errands, and I was standing in the kitchen, happily making chili. Child likes my chili. She decided to hang around for a while.

I bought a new toy. I am the proud new owner of a paraffin thingie. You plug it in, it heats up enough to melt four pounds of paraffin. That takes a lot of heat. Hot wax from a candle can really burn, you know? After the wax is all hot and melted, you stick your hand in it.

What? Doesn't that burn? Yes, but it burns good. You stick it in not once, but five times. It builds up a glove of warm wax. You then stick your hand into a baggie called a glove, and then cover that with a potholder type of terry cloth glove. Then you are helpless. Neither hand is available when your nose starts to itch. Or if your bladder gets full. Or the phone rings. Or you need a beer.

Child decided to get a beer. She somehow got it out of the refrigerator. Then she tried to open it with an opener, without the use of opposable thumbs. It was a real Kodak moment, but I wasn't able to take a picture with both my hands covered in 5 layers of hot wax and wrapped in a towel.

The chili cooked some more while we let the wax cool. Then we peeled the wax off. It does nice things for the hands. A nice, bonding spa moment.

I added the beans to the chili. I thought about how the child had disappeared on me for a few months. I decided not to de-fart the beans.

Child ate a lot of chili, then took some home with her. She was going to spend the rest of the evening with her boyfriend. She left here at 8 pm.

She hasn't called me since. Maybe she is busy reading so she can get the book back in time so I will return her deposit?