Cupcakes and Mandrills

Today I went to see a neurologist about my memory. Maybe what seems a serious problem to me is not - maybe it's worse than I think. I figured it's time to find out.

On they way, my phone rang, leading to a typical conversation with the Child:

Mom?

Yes, Child?

I am at the zoo and looking at the mandrills. I remember when you and grandma took me and the mandrill ate my cupcake.

(yes, I do remember that, very well) Yes, child? I remember that.

Thank you for the memory.

(suspicious) I am surprised you remember - you were only maybe 3.

You gave my cupcake to the mandrill.

No, child, YOU gave your cupcake to the mandrill. It was your choice.

But I remember crying about it. Why did grandma try to comfort me if I did it by choice?

How do I explain this, to you child - you wanted to have your cake and eat it, too.

Oh.....of course.....

I clearly remember the Mandrill Incident. However, I forgot to eat dinner last night.

Last night I was SO tired that I went to bed a few hours earlier than normal - before 1 am. When I woke up, I wasn't sure where I was at first, or what day it was. That isn't too abnormal for me. I then tried to decide if I had to do anything early this morning. After that, I spent some time trying to push a dog over a bit so I could get both of my legs on the bed. I have a queen-sized bed and the dogs allow me about 6 inches on the left edge. I am used to it.

At the sleep clinic, I am expected to show up around 9 pm, go to sleep at 11 pm, and be up by 6 am. I almost cried when they told me that. I gave up those hours when Iretired - and even when I got up at 6 am, I didn't go to bed until midnight or later. The sleep study is going to be a very, very long night for me. Tell me I have to get up at 6 am, and I will be awake most of the night worrying that I will oversleep. I am not going to like all these tests.

Wait until child finds out I need her to spend a night here while I have a sleep study done - they won't let me take the dogs, and yes, I did ask!

While I did survive the MRI on my shoulder, I am not enthused about having one done on my brain. That just sounds creepy. I also have to have an EEG, which I doubt is any worse than an EKG. Probably it won't leave hickeys on my chest, either.

At least the doctor seemed to believe I have a memory issue. He asked me how many nickels in a dollar. I said 20, feeling confident so far...he then asked me how many in 85 cents. I felt stupid. I was really stupid - I subtracted 3 from 20 and said, "18?" I did well in differential equations, statistics, and accounting? I was a math major to begin with? I was so embarrassed!

Oh yeah, speaking of dogs! To the creep who left the pretty dog in the van in the parking lot where I stopped at the store on the way home: Don't even waste your breath, buddy. I recited your van color, make, model, license number, and dog breed to the police. I even added that I didn't see the dog in the car any more, that it must have decided to lie down. Next time, park in the normal lot where people can see your car, and they might assume you ran in for a minute. Park it in the back corner where there aren't any stores, and someone like me will assume you work in one of the stores and won't be back for hours. It might only be 80 degrees out, but I hope someone makes you sit in that van with the windows up for a few hours.

That dog was watching the building, devoted, as dogs are. I did not hesitate to clearly spell every letter when asked my last name.