The Bad Form Nipple Ripper

My former boyfriend called me a fat lazy slob. Not to my face, but to my friends. Maybe some of that is true. I am lazy in some ways. I purposely bought a watch that I don't ever have to take off. I can wear it in a hot tub, while I work out, and I am too lazy to remove it when I go to bed. In fact, I don't remove jewelry except earrings (which I no longer wear at all) unless I am changing it. I am too lazy to remove jewelry to go to bed. So sue me. I don't want to lose my watch, so it stays on. I know it's bad form.

I do remove pearls before a shower. I figure the strings would rot and the soap can't be good for pearls. But I do sleep in them.

I found a ring. I was shopping, went into the ladies' room at Nordstrom, saw a silver mesh ring jammed into the purse shelf, and stuck it in my pocket to take it to lost and found because it looked like a Tiffany ring. Attempts to locate the owner were fruitless and it's now mine. It is a Tiffany ring, much to my surprise. I stuck it on my middle finger of my left hand and went to Chicago.

Sorry, sweetie. I will leave it home next time.